Hakim & David

Medical Information:

General Health:

We are both in good health with no medical problems. We have already undergone genetic screening, and the results show that neither of us has any genetic abnormalities.

Fertility Information:

We have 17 PGS tested embryos. We are using donor eggs, and she is a known donor. If it’s necessary, we can create more embryos.

Fertility Clinic:

CReATe Fertility, Toronto, ON

Why are you looking for a Surrogate?

As a gay couple, we have carefully examined the different possible options and, after thorough consideration, we believe that surrogacy is the best choice for us. Currently, surrogacy is not permitted in France. However, several countries offer this possibility. Among them, we have chosen Canada due to its ethical framework. We want to welcome our child with dignity and respect, and Canada provides the best environment for that.

Tell us about your family & loved ones.

Both of our parents are very excited to welcome our future child. They already have grandchildren, but our baby will be the youngest. Our siblings are just as excited as our parents. We are well supported by our friends and co-workers.

Would you like to attend appointments with your Surrogate?

We are committed to being a constant source of support for the Surrogate throughout this journey. Although we live in France, we are fully dedicated to accompanying and assisting her in every way possible. During the pregnancy, we plan to take several trips to Canada to visit and offer our support. We have also arranged with our employers to be in Canada at the time of the birth, ensuring that we can be there to support her fully.
We understand the importance of communication and mutual agreement. All plans will be discussed and agreed upon with the Surrogate, prioritizing her safety and well-being.

What are your thoughts on termination of a pregnancy due to genetic abnormalities or complications related to the pregnancy?

Anything that could pose a health risk to the Surrogate.

If the Surrogate becomes pregnant with multiples, how would you feel? How do you feel about the possibility of selective reduction being recommended due to a multiple pregnancy?

We would love to have a large family, each child will be welcomed with love. However we are very clear that the health of the Surrogate isn’t put in danger.

Are you vaccinated for Covid-19? Do you have a preference for a Surrogate to have been vaccinated for Covid-19?

We are vaccinated for COVID-19. We don’t have a preference if the Surrogate hasn’t been vaccinated.

What kind of relationship do you want to have with your Surrogate during the pregnancy?

As we mentioned previously, we are fully committed to adapting to the choices and needs of the Surrogate. Our foremost priority is to respect her personal balance and well-being. We would love to be actively involved during the pregnancy, offering our help, support, and a listening ear whenever needed.
We aim to build a relationship based on trust and mutual respect, ensuring she feels comfortable and supported throughout the journey. Regular and transparent communication is very important to us, and we hope to receive updates on the pregnancy's progress in a manner that feels natural and convenient for her.
Ultimately, we want her to feel that we are there for her in whatever capacity she prefers, whether that means being physically present as often as possible or simply being a reliable source of support from a distance. Her comfort and peace of mind are paramount to us.

Do you want to be in the delivery room when your child is born?

Yes, if the Surrogate is ok with that. We would be delighted to welcome our child into the world.

What kind of relationship do you hope to have with your Surrogate after the birth of your child?

Our highest priority is to respect the privacy and personal balance of the Surrogate. Her central role in helping us start a family means that she must feel confident and comfortable with her choices after the birth.
We are open to adapting to various situations and maintaining the level of contact that feels right for her. It is important to us that our child can stay connected with all the people who contributed to their birth, if that is something the Surrogate is comfortable with.
Moreover, we believe in being attentive to the needs and expectations of our child as they grow. We view the Surrogate as an invaluable member of the team that helped us become a family, and we are committed to maintaining good communication among all parties involved.
Trust and authenticity are at the heart of our family project. We aim to foster an environment where everyone feels valued and respected, ensuring that the relationship with the Surrogate is based on mutual understanding and support.

Would you be open to a home birth?

While we understand the option of a homebirth, our preference is to ensure the birth is supported by a medical team in a hospital or birthing center. We believe this setting provides the necessary medical expertise and resources to handle any unforeseen circumstances, ensuring the safety and well-being of both the Surrogate and the child.

Are you open to midwifery care?

We are open to both. If the Surrogate has had positive experiences with one of them in her previous pregnancies, we will support her choice. Our priority is to collaborate with the Surrogate and respect her preferences and needs throughout the pregnancy.

Would you like your Surrogate to provide breastmilk?

Yes, we would like our Surrogate to provide breastmilk for the child. We believe in the nutritional and immunological benefits of breastmilk for infant development. We are committed to supporting the Surrogate in this process and ensuring her comfort and well-being. Our plan is to manage feeding through bottle feeding, respecting both the Surrogate's contribution and ensuring the best care for our child's health and development.

What will you tell the child about the Surrogate, and the circumstances of their birth? If your child asks to meet the Surrogate, how will you feel?

Honesty is the key word. We are part of the French association of gay and lesbian parents. Many specialists and children born via surrogacy recommend being clear and honest with the child. We will tell our child that they were brought into this world through an extraordinary act of love, generosity, and kindness. We will explain that their Surrogate is a remarkable woman who selflessly chose to help us become a family. From a very young age, we will share the story of how much we wanted to have them and how this amazing woman made that possible.
We will emphasize the special link that connects us all and celebrate the unique way our family was created. Every family is unique. We want our child to be proud of their history. We will teach our child to appreciate the Surrogate’s incredible gift and the strength and compassion it took for her to carry them.
Our child will know that their birth was the result of a beautiful collaboration, based on love and the respect of everyone's dignity. We will ensure he or she will understand that their life began with an act of pure generosity and love. This story will be a cherished part of their identity, shaping their understanding of family, love, and the extraordinary lengths people will go to help each other.

If our child expresses a desire to meet the Surrogate, we will wholeheartedly support him/her, we will be happy to make the connection. We will approach the situation with sensitivity and respect for the Surrogate's wishes and availability. We understand that her willingness and comfort in meeting our child are paramount. If she is open to the meeting, we will facilitate it in a way that honors her privacy and boundaries.
Our primary goal is to ensure that any interaction is positive and meaningful for both our child and the Surrogate. We believe that meeting the Surrogate can provide our child with a fuller understanding of their unique birth story and the extraordinary acts of love that made their life possible. It will also reinforce the values of respect, gratitude, and empathy that we strive to instill in our family.
Ultimately, we hope that such a meeting would be a beautiful and enriching experience, reflecting the profound connections and love that have shaped our journey as a family.

If the transfer is unsuccessful, will you want to try again? If so, how soon after?

If the transfer is unsuccessful, we would definitely want to try again. Our desire to become parents is strong, but we deeply empathize with the emotional and physical consequences this process can take on both of us and of course the Surrogate!
We will prioritize her well-being and recovery, ensuring she feels supported and respected. Open and honest communication about her readiness and comfort level will be essential.
We recognize the importance of her consent and availability, and will follow her lead on timing. We are willing to wait as long as needed to ensure she is fully prepared and in good health for another attempt. Our journey to parenthood is a partnership, and we are committed to supporting our Surrogate with empathy and understanding.

If this surrogacy journey is successful, would you want to complete a sibling journey? What do you envision that looking like? (timeline, same Surrogate etc.)

Yes, if our current surrogacy journey is successful, we would definitely want to complete a sibling journey. We have already signed up for the "1+1 package" at Create Fertility which includes plans for a second journey. Our vision includes maintaining a similar timeline to ensure our children are close in age, and to work with the same or another Surrogate. If it’s the same we could keep on building upon the positive relationship and experience we have established.

What are your plans for childcare once the child is born?

Once the child is born, we plan to maximize our involvement in childcare. Both of us will request paternity leave from our employers to spend the initial months with our child. Our intention is to alternate our schedules so that each of us can have maximum time bonding with the baby.
As the child grows older, my mother, who lives just a 15-minute walk away from us, will be available to step in when needed to care for our child. We trust her deeply and appreciate her proximity, which allows for flexible and loving childcare support. Our family is very supportive.

What does a typical weekend look like for you?

Our weekends together blend harmoniously with our individual journeys and shared aspirations. We cherish leisurely mornings spent enjoying a healthy, homemade breakfast while discussing current affairs or planning future endeavors. Both of us have a deep appreciation for cultural exploration; as 'friends' of the Louvre and Orsay museums, we often attend exhibitions and community events that enrich our understanding and appreciation of diversity.
Hâkim, passionate about social justice, often dedicates weekends to volunteering in support of marginalized communities or engaging in activities promoting inclusivity and equality. We also prioritize physical health and well-being through regular sports activities together.
Family plays a central role in our lives, with weekends frequently involving visits or gatherings with loved ones, creating cherished memories and strengthening our bonds.
David finds joy in caring for his aquascaping projects, while Hâkim nurtures his collection of plants and orchids, allowing us to reconnect with nature. Cooking is another shared passion, and we enjoy spending time together in the kitchen experimenting with new recipes (mixing different styles : mediterranean, japanese, italian, Korean, french..etc.)
Looking ahead, our weekends signify more than relaxation; they reflect our commitment to making a positive impact and cultivating a loving, inclusive environment for our future family. We eagerly anticipate the opportunity to share our lives and values with a Surrogate who resonates with our vision.

What are some of your interests/ activities?

Hâkim takes great satisfaction in reading, boasting a library of 1596 books that span a wide range of subjects including philosophy, sociology, literature, poetry, and more. His intellectual curiosity extends to the art of jewelry, where he frequently participates in auctions to uncover ancient artifacts from diverse cultures (with a special mention for antiquities and old painting). Additionally, he channels his passion for storytelling through a current novel project—a travel narrative that intertwines worldly exploration with introspective character development.
David's interests lie deeply in aquascaping and the cultivation of exotic plants within greenhouse environments, meticulously creating lush and harmonious landscapes reminiscent of terrariums. He finds joy in watching wildlife and nature documentaries, particularly those advocating for environmental conservation. As a “connoisseur” of fine chocolate, he indulges in exploring the offerings of various “artisan chocolatier” in Paris, which serves as a perennial source of culinary delight. David also follows the WTA circuit in women's tennis.
In terms of entertainment, David enjoys Miyazaki and fantasy films such as Lord of the Rings, while Hâkim gravitates towards science fiction classics like Star Wars and Dune.
But both share a common appreciation for discovering new things, such as new movies, series, and different ways of understanding the world, as well as trying out new experiences, especially through travel and culinary discoveries.

Other fun facts:

We have Mister Koi (a beta fish) surrounded by a team of carbon rili shrimp and small fishes. We also have Mister Drogo, who is a ginger cat with green eyes. Mister Drogo celebrated his tenth birthday in May 2024. Ten years ago, his owners wanted to euthanize him because he has a tail handicap and no one wanted to adopt him. But we took him in, and since then, he has brought us joy.

Hâkim and David have a deep passion for cuisine, both enjoying tasting delicious dishes and preparing them themselves. David particularly loves 'bouchée à la reine' and couscous, favoring dishes with mild seasoning and savory sauces. Hâkim gravitates towards vegetable-based dishes such as stuffed eggplant and peppers, commonly found in Greek and Turkish cuisines, enriched with herbs like parsley, tarragon, and oregano. However, he has a strong preference for pastries, including strawberry tart and almond shortbread. They are always eager to share easy and original recipes, especially ones for entertaining friends and improving health.

Our first encounter is seared into our memory like a BBQ mishap on a hot summer day! We crossed paths during the COVID “craze”, and what struck us first were our uncanny similarities. Turns out, our grandfathers hail from the same town in Algeria (Oran), adding a spicy twist to our family tree. Hakim's stomping ground in rural, off-the-grid France happens to be David's home region — talk about a cosmic coincidence! We even bear a striking resemblance in our baby photos. Once, we hilariously swapped baby pics with our moms. Surprise, surprise ! neither mom could pick out their own flesh and blood! As for quirky traits, David's got ear wiggles on lock, while Hakim's perpetually icy feet are a year-round mystery. We know each other inside out, which leads to our annual tradition of gifting each other bespoke experiences. David took charge, enrolling Hakim in a crash course on cycling and swimming at 40—better late than never! In return, Hakim fired up David's passion with a crash course in competitive BBQ for the French championship. He even named a champagne vine after David—talk about raising the bar! Meanwhile, David pulled out all the stops with a private jewelry-making class at Van Cleef & Arpels. As icing on the cake, to celebrate hitting the big 4-0 (yep, born in the same year!), we jetted off to Egypt. Amidst pyramids and pharaohs, we stumbled upon the Temple of Maternity and Love, a place that sparked our forbidden desire to kiss. Just when we thought Egypt had its say, a comically-timed blackout plunged us into darkness, giving us the green light for that long-awaited smooch. It was pure magic, like the universe conspired to grant our deepest wish!

“Until he was 13, David believed in a magical and fairy-tale world (including Santa Claus). Meanwhile, Hakim was drawn to science and dreamt of a life aboard a spaceship, communicating with electronic tablets and holograms. David preferred conversing with animals and imagined himself as a shepherd in vast mountains and forests. Hakim, on the other hand, dreamt of chatting with Mr. Spock or battling alongside Obi-Wan Kenobi against the Empire's invasion. Over time and through scientific studies, Hakim reinforced his rational side, until the day he discovered Tarot with a friend, revealing a new mystical realm. David, on the other hand, maintains his sensitivity to nature and dedicates himself to creating a better world (he realizes that he will soon be Santa Claus).”