Clayton & Niels

Medical Information:

General Health:

We're both very healthy and above all, care very much about our health. We both exercise and eat healthy (well, most of the time). Niels is a swimmer at heart and enjoys swimming laps 2-3 times per week. Clayton also exercises 3 to 4 times a week but chooses the gym over the swimming pool.

Fertility Information:

With the help of our angel egg donor, we now have 5 embryos. The embryos are undergoing PGS testing and we should have the results in a couple of weeks. If necessary, we are definitely willing to create more embryos, yes.

Having a known donor was a very intentional choice for us. We believe it is important for our future child to have the possibility to know and understand their biological background and where they come from. Having a known donor allows for openness and honesty from the very beginning, and ensures that if our child ever has questions about their origins, those answers can be available to them. For us, that transparency felt like the most respectful and thoughtful approach for our future child.

Fertility Clinic:

Create, Toronto, ON.

Why are you looking for a Surrogate?

We have dreamed of becoming parents since the early stages of our relationship, almost seven years ago. For us, building a family has always been a very important part of the future we imagined together.
One of the first ways we expressed that wish was by becoming foster parents to two six-year-old twin sisters more than four years ago. They are still very much part of our lives. They live with their sister and stay with us every other weekend. Over the years we have shared many meaningful moments with them and have been able to be a stable, supportive presence in their lives. Being part of their journey has taught us a lot about patience, responsibility, and how much joy there is in caring for and guiding children as they grow.
At the same time, we have always had the wish to welcome a child of our own and to continue building our family. Both of our families are relatively small, which makes that desire feel even stronger for us.
Over the past four years we explored several possible paths to parenthood, including conversations with women who were interested in co-parenting. While we came quite far in some of those journeys, we eventually realized that we were not the right long-term match to build a shared family structure together, as we're looking to take on a hundred percent responsibility taking care of a child. Those experiences helped us reflect on what would truly work best for everyone involved, including a future child.
Through that process we discovered that surrogacy feels like the right path for us. It allows us to create the family we have long hoped for, while building a relationship with someone who is willing to help us in such a meaningful way. We feel incredibly grateful for the possibility of working with a surrogate who wants to be part of this journey with us.

Tell us about your family & loved ones.

Niels’ parents have been aware of our journey from the very beginning and have supported us every step of the way. They care deeply about both of us and truly want us to be happy. They recently became grandparents through Niels’ brother’s first child, which has made the idea of us becoming parents feel even more real and exciting for them. They very much hope that our journey will succeed, because they would be incredibly happy to see us able to start our own family as well.
Clayton’s mother sadly passed away 11 years ago, but he is certain she would have been very supportive and excited about this journey. Clayton’s father has never played a role in his life. With Clayton's small family, the urge to create a family of his own has grown much over the years.

Both Niels' brother and sister in-law and Clayton's sister have known about this journey from the start and have all been very supportive. They have offered to help where possible and have said multiple times that they are looking forward to a potential little niece or nephew.

The two twin girls we foster have been an important part of our lives for more than four years now. During that time we have built a close and trusting bond with them, and we have shared many meaningful moments together, including telling them about our journey. They are very happy and excited for us if we were able to welcome a baby into our lives. In our conversations they have asked us if our relationship with them would ever change. In our reply we have comforted them and assured them that our relationship would never change. They know how much we care about children and how important family is to us, and they are part of our family.
It is very important to us that they always remain part of our lives. If our surrogacy journey is successful, our relationship with them will not change. We will continue to be there for them, support them, and spend time together just as we do now. They have become a very special part of our family story, and that will always remain the case.

We are both very fortunate to have a close group of friends who feel more like family to us. Many of them have known us for years and have been alongside us through the different steps and ups and downs of our journey toward parenthood. They have always been very loving and supportive of the path we have chosen, and they genuinely hope that we will succeed in building the family we dream of.
The same goes for our work environments. Niels works at a large company, and his direct colleagues and managers are aware of our plans and have been very supportive. His employer has also expressed support and is willing to explore how they can offer him similar parental benefits to those available to heterosexual couples. Clayton’s business partner is also aware of this journey and has been very supportive throughout. Having such understanding and encouragement from both our friends and professional circles means a lot to us and makes this journey feel even more supported.

Would you like to attend appointments with your Surrogate?

Yes, we would very much love that! We understand that the distance between Canada and The Netherlands prohibits us to be present all the time for all the special occasions. Realistically speaking we think that one visit to meet with the Surrogate before the pregnancy, a visit during the pregnancy (like an ultrasound or 20-week appointment) and then during birth are moments we hope to attend.

What are your thoughts on termination of a pregnancy due to genetic abnormalities or complications related to the pregnancy?

Terminating a pregnancy is an incredibly difficult and emotional subject, and not something anyone hopes to face. However, we believe it is important to be thoughtful and realistic about situations that could arise during a pregnancy.
If complications or serious genetic abnormalities were identified, we would want to approach that situation with great care, open communication, and in close discussion with the Surrogate. Her physical and mental well-being would always be extremely important to us, and we would want any decision to be made respectfully and together.
In general, if a diagnosis showed that a child would face very severe medical conditions that would lead to significant suffering or a life with extremely limited quality of life such as severe genetic disorders, Down syndrome, serious neurological conditions, or illnesses that would prevent a child from living or developing in a meaningful way, we would likely consider termination. For example, this could include conditions such as severe muscular diseases, profound paralysis, or other serious abnormalities that would make it very difficult for a child to live a healthy or dignified life.
We believe that decisions in these situations should never be taken lightly and should always involve honest discussion, mutual respect, and consideration for the well-being of the Surrogate and the future child.

If the Surrogate becomes pregnant with multiples, how would you feel? How do you feel about the possibility of selective reduction being recommended due to a multiple pregnancy?

We already foster twins so it would not be completely new to us haha. We feel that if the 'universe' meant for our Surrogate to be pregnant with multiples we would very much support that. If selective reduction would be the case for example for the health of the Surrogate or the baby/babies in the womb that is definitely something we would consider, again in harmony with the Surrogate's thoughts.

Are you vaccinated for Covid-19? Do you have a preference for a Surrogate to have been vaccinated for Covid-19?

Both Niels and Clayton have been vaccinated multiple times for Covid-19. We believe in vaccinations but if our Surrogate is not vaccinated, it is not a problem for us.

What kind of relationship do you want to have the your Surrogate during the pregnancy?

We hope to build a warm, respectful, and genuine relationship with our Surrogate throughout the pregnancy. For us, the contact during the pregnancy is not only about staying informed, but also about sharing a very special journey together. Carrying a child for someone is an incredibly meaningful and generous act, and we believe that the pregnancy will be a unique and emotional experience that connects us for the rest of our lives. We can imagine sharing feelings of vulnerability, joy and other highs and lows. The idea that we will be there when you give birth to our child is incredible and will strengthen our connection for the future.
Because of that, we hope the pregnancy can be the foundation of a friendship that could continue even after the birth. Of course, we also understand that every Surrogate may feel differently about the level of contact she is comfortable with, and we are very open to discussing and finding a balance that feels good for everyone involved.
Since there will be physical distance between us, we imagine that much of our contact will happen through messaging (such as WhatsApp or Messenger), sharing updates and photos, as well as occasional phone or video calls. At the same time, we would love to be present for some important moments during the pregnancy if possible, and we are very open to discussing together what feels comfortable and practical for everyone.

Do you want to be in the delivery room when your child is born?

Ideally, we hope to find a Surrogate who is comfortable with us being present during the delivery, so we can share in that special moment together. We believe that clear communication and mutual understanding will help create a positive and supportive experience for everyone involved.

What kind of relationship do you hope to have with your Surrogate after the birth of your child?

After the birth of our child, we would love to stay in touch with our Surrogate in a way that feels comfortable and natural for her. The journey of a pregnancy is such a meaningful and emotional experience, and the role she would play in helping us become parents is something we will always be deeply grateful for. Because of that, she will always hold a very special place in our lives and in the story of our family.
At the same time, we fully respect that every Surrogate may feel differently about the level of contact after the birth. We would always want to follow her wishes and find a way of staying in touch that feels right for her.
Ideally, we would love to keep a warm and friendly connection over the years, sharing updates, photos, and milestones as our child grows. It would mean a lot to us if she could see how the life she helped create is developing and thriving. Whether that would be through messages, occasional calls, cards, or perhaps seeing each other from time to time, we would approach that relationship with a lot of gratitude, respect, and appreciation for the incredible gift she has given us.

Would you be open to a home birth?

Yes, we would be open to a home birth. We understand that for some women it can be a very natural and comfortable way to give birth, and it is important to us that the Surrogate feels safe, respected, and at ease with the birth setting.
To ensure the health and safety of the Surrogate and the baby, this is something we would want to discuss together with the Surrogate and her care provider to make sure that everyone feels comfortable and that the safest possible plan is in place.

Are you open to midwifery care?

If the pregnancy is healthy and low-risk, we would be comfortable with midwifery care, especially when it takes place within a system where medical support is accessible if needed. For us, it is reassuring to know that a hospital or obstetric care would be available nearby in case any complications arise during the pregnancy or delivery. We would want to discuss this together with the Surrogate and follow the guidance of the medical team to ensure the safest possible situation for everyone involved.

Would you like your Surrogate to provide breastmilk?

This is a very important decision that we'll need to make together with you. We would be happy to receive breastmilk if the Surrogate would like to provide it.

What will you tell the child about the Surrogate, and the circumstances of their birth? If the child asks to meet the Surrogate, how will you feel?

Clayton has never known his father and in that light, we would never be anything other than honest about how the child was conceived, who carried them and the circumstances of the birth. We believe that honesty and openness are the foundation of a healthy relationship with a child. Because of that, we intend to always be open about how our child came into the world and the special role the Surrogate played in that journey. The way we explain the story will naturally grow with the age and understanding of the child, but the core of the story will always remain the same.
We want our child to know that there was an incredible and generous woman in Canada who helped us make our greatest wish come true: becoming parents. We would describe her as someone very special who chose to help us bring our child into the world, and whose kindness and strength made our family possible.
It is important to us that our child grows up knowing about the Surrogate and understanding the meaningful role she played in their birth. Ideally, we would like her to be a known and positive part of our child’s story, so that our child can grow up with a sense of openness, gratitude, and pride about how their life began.

We would never stand in the way of our child exploring his or her past and would be very open to the thought of having our child meeting the Surrogate but only if she also agrees. Ideally, as we would like to have a good relationship from the start, there might not come a day where the child would like to meet the Surrogate as she's already been some part of the child's life.

If the transfer is unsuccessful, will you want to try again? If so, how soon after?

We have already come so far and are very determined to make this work. So if the transfer is unsuccessful we absolutely would want to try again but only after the Surrogate has regained her health fully again. That is the most important.

If this surrogacy journey is successful, would you want to complete a sibling journey? What do you envision that looking like? (timeline, same Surrogate etc.)

Clayton's wish to have a sibling after a successful journey is stronger than Niels' but it is something we have both decided not to discuss any further until we have completed a successful journey first. Take one step at the time. But if there were ever such talks between us and a Surrogate, this is definitely something that would take place at least 18-24 months after the successful birth and once the Surrogate has established her health again. But for now, we are only focusing on completing a successful journey.

What are your plans for childcare once the child is born?

Once back home, Niels' paternity leave and other forms of benefits will become effective. Clayton is his own boss. Together we will take care of our newborn and create a new dynamic where childcare and work are integrated.

What does a typical weekend look like for you?

Our weekends are usually a nice balance between being active, spending time with friends and family, and enjoying our home. A typical Saturday often starts a bit differently for each of us. Clayton loves a slow morning and happily stays in bed a little longer, while Niels is usually up earlier and starts the day with a walk with our Labrador, Boaz, followed by a swim at the pool. Later in the morning Clayton heads to the gym.
Since we live in the heart of Amsterdam, we often go out for lunch together after our workouts. In the afternoon we like to get some fresh air, sometimes taking a longer walk outside the city with the dog. Weekends are also a time when we catch up with friends or family. We might meet a friend for coffee, visit Niels’ parents, or spend time with Niels’ brother, his partner, and their young child. Being present in our niece/nephew’s life is something we really enjoy. In the evenings we often cook at home, have friends over, or go out for dinner somewhere in the city. Later we usually wind down at home. Niels enjoys watching a series, while Clayton often takes the last evening walk before we both head to bed.
When the twins stay with us for the weekend, the rhythm is quite different and a lot more lively. We usually pick them up on Friday afternoon at their sister's home where they live and drive back to Amsterdam together. The evening is often relaxed: cooking dinner together, talking about their week, and watching a movie with popcorn or snacks.
Saturday mornings start early with them, and they proudly help with small chores like walking the dog. After breakfast and the famously long “getting ready” routine that comes with two pre-teen girls, we usually plan a fun activity for the day. This could be visiting a museum, going to a theme park, exploring the city, or doing something outdoors. The goal is always to spend quality time together and create fun memories. In the evening we cook, relax, and often end the day with another movie night.
On Sundays we often go swimming together before bringing them back home. These weekends are always energetic, full of laughter, and very special to us. They have become an important and joyful part of our lives.

What are some of your interests/ activities?

We both have a number of hobbies and interests that keep our lives active, social, and fun.
Clayton is a big music enthusiast and has been collecting vinyl records for many years. He loves everything related to music: discovering new artists, listening to records at home, going to concerts, and reading about music history. Music plays a big role in our home and there is almost always something playing in the background. Clayton also really enjoys films and series, especially those related to space, science fiction, or big “end-of-the-world” stories, although he doesn’t actually believe the world is ending anytime soon.
Niels enjoys being active and spending time outdoors. He loves long walks, whether that is in the city, in nature, or with our Labrador Boaz. He also enjoys swimming regularly and watching a good series to relax in the evenings. Like many dog owners, a lot of joy in his free time comes from doing things together with our dog like long walks, trips outside the city, or just spending time together.
Together we really enjoy spending time with friends and the people close to us. We often meet friends for drinks, dinner, or a relaxed evening at home. We also love discovering new restaurants and cafés in Amsterdam.
Traveling is another big passion we share. We enjoy exploring new countries, cultures, and cities together. Some trips are adventurous and far away, while others are simple weekend trips within Europe. Experiencing new places together is something we truly value and always look forward to.

Boaz is our 3,5 year old charcoal Labrador. He’s a beautiful dog, although often not the smartest haha (we say that he has the beauty but not the brains). Boaz was actually a Christmas gift from Clayton to Niels three years ago and he's been part of the family ever since.

If you ask us, the best food in the world has to be Surinamese food! (Clayton thinks so as his roots are from Surinam, but Niels, having visited twice now, probably also agrees). We both love everything Asian.

A fun milestone in our relationship was when we celebrated our five-year anniversary by organizing a big party with about 150 friends and family. We hosted a seated dinner, had a live band, and ended the night with a DJ and a big dance party. It had many of the elements of a wedding celebration, just without the official ceremony. It remains one of the most joyful and memorable nights we’ve shared with the people we love.

Another exciting chapter for us is that we recently bought a newly built house in the northern part of Amsterdam. At the moment it is still mostly sand and construction, as the foundation has just been started, but in about two years it will become our new home. It’s very special for us to think about building a future there and creating a place where family and friends can gather.

Travel has also played an important role in our lives. Earlier in life, Niels spent time living in New Zealand, while Clayton lived in Sydney, Australia. Those experiences shaped our curiosity for the world and our love for exploring new places and cultures. A funny story from the very beginning of our relationship is that only about a month after we started dating, Clayton asked Niels if he wanted to join him on a trip to Bali for a week. Niels thought it was a bit unusual to travel together so quickly but he said yes. That trip ended up being very special for us and was a moment where our relationship really deepened.

Niels originally studied psychology and spent many years working in the non-profit sector. Interestingly, he now works in a place he once never expected: a bank. Today he is the Head of Philanthropy Advisory at one of the largest banks in the Netherlands, where he helps individuals and families think about how they can use their resources to support meaningful causes and make a positive impact.

Clayton has always had a strong creative and cultural side. His love for music, collecting vinyl, and exploring films and stories is something that brings a lot of character and warmth into our home.

And finally, one of the things Clayton often says is that Niels has one of the warmest and most welcoming families imaginable. From the beginning they embraced Clayton with open arms, and over the years they have also welcomed Clayton’s sister into the family as well. That sense of openness and connection is something we both value deeply and hope to pass on in the family we are hoping to build.

“Niels and Clayton actually met in a very modern way: through Grindr. In one of their very first messages, Niels asked Clayton if he wanted to join him on a walk with a dog he was sitting. Clayton had never really been a dog person at the time, but the question was so unexpected and original that he said yes. And the rest is history.

Since then, we have built a strong and loving partnership based on care, trust, and a lot of laughter. Niels is someone who cares deeply about the world and about helping others, something that is also reflected in his work in philanthropy and his volunteering activities. Clayton is incredibly loyal and devoted to the people he loves, the kind of person who will always show up when someone needs him.

For many years now, we have carried a deep wish to become parents. It is one of those feelings that is difficult to fully explain, you simply know in your heart that it is something you are meant to do. The way we care for each other, the stability we have built together, and the joy we feel when spending time with children all reinforce that feeling.

The idea that there might be someone out there who is willing to help us make that dream come true feels incredibly special to us. It takes an extraordinary person to consider being a Surrogate, and we feel immense respect and gratitude for anyone who would even think about helping a family in this way. We hope that if you read our story and feel a connection, you reach out to us so we can get to know each other. It could be the beginning of a very meaningful journey together.”