Richard and David

Medical Information:

General Health:

Nothing to report, we are both in good health.

Fertility Information:

We have 13 PGS-tested embryos made with the help of a wonderful known donor. If the need arises, we can make more embryos.

Fertility Clinic:

Create, Toronto, ON.

Why are you looking for a Surrogate?

As a gay couple we have limited options for building a family in France. We researched each option available to us, and concluded that surrogacy was the best option for us. We considered adoption, but the process in France is extremely long (3-5 years) and very intrusive and stressful.

Tell us about your family & loved ones.

We've already shared the news with our close friends and family and they are very excited and supportive. The only down side has been that they keep asking for updates when we don't have many yet to give. Our sisters are actively emotionally supporting us in this journey.

Would you like to attend appointments with your Surrogate?

This is not something we have specifically talked about. We would love to attend one of the ultrasounds as a way of bonding with our Surrogate, if it's possible and feasible. However, we're not sure which one would make most sense. While we will not be able to be physically there, we will be supporting our Surrogate through phone calls and we will be ready to come anytime if a situation was requiring it.

What are your thoughts on termination of a pregnancy due to genetic abnormalities or complications related to the pregnancy?

As a general rule we would love our baby, no matter what. In the case our baby was to have genetic issues or anything that would prevent her/him from having a full life, we would consider terminating the pregnancy. It would depend on which condition the child had, medical advice and our ability to provide the best life for our child.

If the Surrogate becomes pregnant with multiples, how would you feel? How do you feel about the possibility of selective reduction being recommended due to a multiple pregnancy?

We wish to have 2 kids. Being nearly 40 already, having them together at the same time would be fine with us. However, the Surrogate's health would always take priority and we would follow medical advice should it be recommended that selective reduction should take place.

Are you vaccinated for Covid-19? Do you have a preference for a Surrogate to have been vaccinated for Covid-19?

We are both vaccinated but are relaxed about a Surrogate being vaccinated or not. It doesn't matter.

What kind of relationship do you want to have the your Surrogate during the pregnancy?

We believe that the best way to go through this life-changing process is to be in touch on regular basis. We'd also love to meet our Surrogate before pregnancy if it was at all possible.

Do you want to be in the delivery room when your child is born?

If our Surrogate is happy for us to be there, we would love to be present!

What kind of relationship do you hope to have with your Surrogate after the birth of your child?

We would love to stay in touch with our Surrogate and have her become a part of our family. This is not mandatory and will depend on her wishes. Richard has family in New Zealand and Australia, so having connections in Canada would be great too!

Would you be open to a home birth?

We would trust the Surrogate's choice (as the Surrogate has given birth before and understands what it involves - whereas we're fairly clueless on the matter). However, we would insist on approval from the medical team first; and if it's not approved, we would prefer a hospital birth.

Are you open to midwifery care?

It would depend on the level of risk involved with the pregnancy. We'd trust the Surrogate's choice on the matter, unless medical advice recommends obstetric care.

Would you like your Surrogate to provide breastmilk?

We'd be grateful for any breastmilk if the Surrogate is prepared to provide some!

What will you tell the child about the Surrogate, and the circumstances of their birth? If the child asks to meet the Surrogate, how will you feel?

We will tell our child about the surrogacy process (age appropriate) from an early age, probably through a picture book that we'll create for them. We'll tell them that they have connections to Canada, France, and Great Britain, and we'd love of course to take them to Canada to visit it and to meet their Surrogate. We'll be proud about the journey and about how we built our family so that there isn't any dishonesty or anything that could turn into problems later.

We would love for our child to meet the Surrogate if she is comfortable with it.

If the transfer is unsuccessful, will you want to try again? If so, how soon after?

We know that this process won't be easy and are prepared for multiple setbacks. We'd be happy to try another transfer as soon as it's both medically safe for the Surrogate and when she can make herself available.

If this surrogacy journey is successful, would you want to complete a sibling journey? What do you envision that looking like? (timeline, same Surrogate etc.)

We are interested in a sibling journey. It would be great if it's the same Surrogate, however, we understand that would depend on her wishes. Ideally, we’d like to do a sibling journey 1-3 years after the birth of the first child.

What are your plans for childcare once the child is born?

For the first 3-4 months, Richard will be the main care giver, with assistance of child minders and family. At six months, we'd place the child in a local crèche/daycare (we have some great ones in our local town), while Richard works, and then Richard will be the main care provider outside of creche hours. Both our moms could also come and support us. We also have friends around us that would be able to offer support when needed.

What does a typical weekend look like for you?

We usually have busy weeks so either have quiet evenings on Friday, where we have a few beers together and have dinner and chat about the week's we've had, weekend plans, and then current affairs. Saturday mornings are taken up with chores, while David goes on a long bike ride (80km) Saturday afternoons while Richard goes to the gym or reads. We frequently eat out Saturday nights or lunchtimes, see family, or go to dinner parties with friends. Sundays are pretty quiet. We love to spend our Sunday afternoon walking in the nearby forest together if the weather's good. We both call our respective families Sunday evening and prepare for the coming week.
This would be an example of our typical quiet weekend, but every once or twice a month we visit family in France. Richard also returns to see his family in the UK at least 4 times a year.

What are some of your interests/ activities?

David spends a lot of time outdoors, running or biking with his triathlon club. He also loves spending time with his friends, playing board games. At home he loves reading and ‘geeking out’ by building some Lego.
Richard loves reading novels and writing them. He usually has two or three books on the go. He also loves learning, and is either learning new teaching skills, taking creative writing courses, or brushing up on his French language skills. Richard is also involved in local charities and political parties. He used to sing in rock bands in Manchester when he was younger, and still sings when the mood strikes him.

We have a lovely Siberian cat called Kitty.

When it comes to favourite foods, David love desserts with lemony ice cream and all kinds of red fruits. Most importantly, he loves the time spent together around a good dinner. Richard loves lasagna and any desert that involves either meringue or custard.

David insists on always having at least 3 packs of butter in the fridge (?!)
Richard sings very loudly in the shower but the neighbours don't seem to mind.
The only thing we've ever argued over (and still do) is global trade policy (Ric's a typical British free trader and David's a typical French protectionist); and the appropriate level of lighting in the living room (Ric like it cozy and shaded, David likes it bright and vibrant).
David and his family went to the same camping site in Auvergne, France every year for over twenty years.
Richard's a Yorkshireman so he's unwaveringly proud about his region, only drinks Yorkshire tea, and wishes he could have Yorkshire water transported over to France. Any child of Richard's would be a Yorkshire lass/lad - even if they don't live there.
We both love culture and history, so we go to museums and art galleries when we can.

Fun Facts:

David was born in France, has an MA in engineering, speaks French, German and English, loves running marathons (he completes 1 each year) and competes in triathalons and trials every quarter.

Richard was born in England and has an English degree and teaching qualifications. He speaks English and French, loves writing and reading (is a published Amazon best selling fiction writer!!) and is a university English language professor.

“We’re excited to find an amazingly compassionate Surrogate to help us grow our family. We’ve been together for 17 years, and live not too far from Paris. We are proud uncles to three nieces and pet-parents of a highly dramatic Siberian cat.
We met in Manchester’s gay village back in 2009, and got married in 2017 in front of all our family. We discussed having children at the beginning of our relationship and, thankfully, it become a possibility for us in the last two years.
We compliment each other really well:  David’s more logical and athletic, while Richard’s more philosophical and would rather read than go running in the cold.
We’ve both wanted kids for most of our lives, and we’re both responsible, fun, and occasionally very silly. Giving us the chance to become fathers and experience parenthood would be a wonderful gift — and we’d be truly grateful to anyone would consider it.”