Dear Surrogate,

First of all, a huge thank you for taking the time to read our letter. You are one in a million just by considering helping us. So thank you.

We’re Richard (40) and David (40), and we met in Manchester, UK in 2009. David was on an international internship from France and I was finishing my degree. I hate to say it was the clichéd ‘love at first sight’ but it really was. We met in a wine bar on Canal Street, chatted each other up, danced, and have been together ever since.

We got married in front of our friends and family in 2017, and we’ll be celebrating our tenth anniversary next year (10 years already – eek!). We now live in the leafy suburbs of Rouen, France. We’re an hour away from both the coast and Paris. If you visit us, (and we hope you will some day), we’ll take you to the famous white cliffs along the coastline and then for dinner in Paris. 

David’s an executive at a manufacturing company, and I’m a university English teacher and crime writer (with seven books published and counting). While we both value work and stability, we cannot wait until the pitter patter of little feet and squeaks of joy wrecks our calm. We have friends and family who have young children, and we look forward to the day when our child joins the mix. And we have friends, future grandmas, and family all waiting to support and help us.

One thing’s for sure, our future child will be loved.

We’ve always wanted children. We’re both level-headed, sensible, and will be very responsible parents. But at the same time, we’re also funny and love to joke and play. Plus, as a writer, I usually live in my own little world where I hope my future child will join me. David’s eager to go running with the pram, and if the child loves sports (which they’re likely to) David will be over the moon.

But how would we go about making our family? Adoption in France is a tough slog, with a 50/50 chance of succeeding after 3 to 6 years. After joining the French Gay Parent Association and going to conferences on surrogacy, we decided it was the best option for us – mostly because there’d be a biological link with the child.

We chose Canada because we strongly wanted a known egg donation, and we weren’t comfortable with the commercial surrogacy. We value honesty, respect, and care for others, and commercial surrogacy felt a bit icky. We want to collaborate with our future surrogate to help build our family.

So this is why we’re asking you for help! But as we know how enormous the ask is, here’s what we promise in return. You’ll hear from us all the time during the process, and if you ever need to talk or vent, we’re only a phone call away. We live in France, so we can’t be as present as we’d like, but we promise constant chats and video calls during the process. We’d also like to come over and see you during the pregnancy, if we can, and get to know you more.

You’ll find that we’re an open and honest couple and very chilled. No matter the ups and downs of the process, we’ll keep our shit together and help you through whatever nature/the universe throws at us. Once the bundle of joy as been flown across the Atlantic, we’ll keep you updated with videos and photos as much as we can. And in 5, 10, 20 years, you’ll be getting messages from us asking to visit us in France or if we can visit you in Canada. We really want our child can meet their amazing Surro-aunt and her family and get to know her.

We know what we can offer you is only a tiny fraction of what we ask, but we hope that something in this letter clicked and that you’ll help us have our first child. We cannot wait to get to know you and have you as our extended family in Canada.

With all the goodwill in the world,

Richard & David