Ellen and Philip

Medical Information:

General Health:

We’re very happy to report that we’re both in excellent health. Philip’s health check last year came back with a biological age of 33 ;) I’ve just had my annual check-up with my oncologist and am delighted to be 5 years post breast cancer with a less than 7% chance of recurrence.

Fertility Information:

We have 7 perfect little embryos stored at our clinic in Windsor, Ontario. They are post PGT-A testing and were created in August 2024. We created our embryos with the help of our amazing egg donor. We tried a round of egg retrieval ourselves, but my eggs were not up to scratch. Our donor Veronica is happy to be a known donor and is a fabulous human from Edmonton, who we clicked with very quickly. If necessary, we can create more embryos.

Fertility Clinic:

Victory Reproductive Care in Windsor, Ontario.

Why are you looking for a Surrogate?

Following my successful recovery from breast cancer, my doctors recommended surrogacy to us as the safest option for maintaining my ongoing good health.

Tell us about your family & loved ones.

Our parents are basically just keen to be grandparents! We are each the eldest in our families. There are no grandchildren in Philip’s family yet, while I have 3 niblings on my side. Our siblings are very happy that we have the option of starting our family with the help of a Surrogate. We each have a brother and a sister, and we are from close families, so we are fortunate to have them rooting for us on this journey. We have been open with friends and co-workers about our hopes to have a family through surrogacy, and it’s really sweet how people get so excited and want to know all about how it works, which we’re more than happy to chat through.

Would you like to attend appointments with your Surrogate?

We would love to tag along via zoom call; however, we would be just as happy to get an update afterwards - we would follow our Surrogate’s lead in that regard. The initial scan and the 20-week scan would be the most exciting and nerve-wracking for us as first time parents :)

What are your thoughts on termination of a pregnancy due to genetic abnormalities or complications related to the pregnancy?

It is a very hard situation to contemplate; however, in the event of a life-limiting foetal abnormality or a chromosomal abnormality being detected, we would not seek to continue the pregnancy. We sincerely hope PGT-A testing will spare us these heart-breaking decisions, but we appreciate the reality is less certain.

If the Surrogate becomes pregnant with multiples, how would you feel? How do you feel about the possibility of selective reduction being recommended due to a multiple pregnancy?

We have no difficulty with the prospect of multiples. We understand this can be a higher risk pregnancy and we will follow medical advice as regards the best interests of the Surrogate and the pregnancy.

Are you vaccinated for Covid-19? Do you have a preference for a Surrogate to have been vaccinated for Covid-19?

Yes, we have both been vaccinated for Covid-19 and it would be great if our Surrogate was vaccinated, but this is not a red line issue for us.

What kind of relationship do you want to have with your Surrogate during the pregnancy?

We plan to be fully open with our future children about how they arrived here. With that in mind we would love to have an open and friendly relationship with our Surrogate. We are also mindful, that a Surrogate will have their own responsibilities to take care of and we are happy to be led by our Surrogate on what works for them. Whether that’s phone calls, WhatsApp, Zoom, or some combination of all three, we are good to roll with whatever works! We’re quite relaxed by nature and we wouldn’t require minute to minute updates, it’s about learning together what works communication-wise.

Do you want to be in the delivery room when your child is born?

We feel like it would be amazing to be there; however, we understand that births are unpredictable, and we completely support our Surrogate in making whatever choice she feels is best in the moment.

What kind of relationship do you hope to have with your Surrogate after the birth of your child?

Having been through such a fundamental experience as a shared pregnancy journey, we would hope to form a lasting bond with our Surrogate. We would be happy to keep our Surrogate up to date on key events in our children’s lives, if this is something they are interested in. We are thinking about a future point where our child(ren) will look to know more about their beginnings, and we want to be guardians of their story so they can choose their own path when it comes to finding out more about the amazing women who helped us become a family.

Would you be open to a home birth?

Truthfully our preference would be for delivery in a medical centre or hospital. This has been a long journey for us with many ups and downs. We would be most comfortable with a medical environment for the safety of baby and Surrogate.

Are you open to midwifery care?

We are really only familiar with the model in Ireland, whereby expectant mothers can avail of midwifery led care in their community, with occasional obstetric appointments.

Would you like your Surrogate to provide breastmilk?

It would be amazing if our Surrogate would contemplate such a further generous act, having already done so much. And if it’s not an option, that is absolutely fine also.

What will you tell the child about the Surrogate, and the circumstances of their birth? If your child asks to meet the Surrogate, how will you feel?

We would like it to be part of their story from the beginning, so they are aware of it even before they might fully understand. We will need to educate ourselves and take advice on how best to approach it. We’re aware there are books that you can read with them from a very young age, such that it becomes what they know. The circumstances of their birth are not a secret from our close friends and family, but we also appreciate this will be the child’s personal story to share as they wish in the future. We got really good advice early on from a surrogacy counsellor who explained there is a difference between secrecy and privacy, and we will navigate that with our child(ren) as they grow.

We will be bringing up our child(ren) with the expectation that they will want to know more and/or meet their Surrogate and Egg Donor. The circumstances of our Surrogate and Egg Donor may change over the years and nobody knows how the future will pan out, but hopefully any meeting or contact would be a welcome and happy occasion. We have talked about how it might be, and we don’t feel threatened or insecure about our children asking to meet their Surrogate (or Donor). On the contrary we hope it will reaffirm how much they were wanted and how the kindness of others helped us to bring them into the world.

If the transfer is unsuccessful, will you want to try again? If so, how soon after?

Yes, we would like to try more than once if the Surrogate and medical advice support that decision. In terms of how soon after, we trust that will be a decision for the Surrogate and her medical team.

If this surrogacy journey is successful, would you want to complete a sibling journey? What do you envision that looking like? (timeline, same Surrogate etc.)

Yes, it is our hope to have a second child and with a view to raising them as close siblings we would ideally like them to be close in age – perhaps two years apart? If the same Surrogate wanted to do a second journey with us, that would of course be incredible.

What are your plans for childcare once the child is born?

We are very fortunate that I can avail of paid maternity leave from my employer, which will allow me to take 12 months leave with each baby. We have also decided that I will be full-time at home with our kids for the first 3-5 years, if not longer. Philip’s hardware business is five minutes away in the village, so he is back and forth throughout the day, including lunch. Both our families are local and our kids will be raised within that wider family of siblings, grandparents and cousins. We have walked a long road to create our family and we want to enjoy every second :)

What does a typical weekend look like for you?

For now, we are enjoying sleeping a bit later on weekends! The dogs will come up from their bed in the kitchen and get cozy with us, and we’ll have a slow morning drinking coffee and catching up on news. Our weekends are full of the usual stuff, we’ll do a grocery shop for the coming week, tidy up a bit, and see our families. On Sundays we take the dogs on a long walk to the beach or around town. Philip’s folks live slightly outside of town with more space, so it’s fun to bring the dogs there and they get a good run around with his parent’s dogs. My sister is solo parent to the most adorable 1 year old daughter, so we will often help out with caring for Rose, because the snuggles are irresistible and we need the practice ;) We both have close friend groups that we’ve known since college and before, and we each meet up regularly with those friends, all of whom have kids, and will be a great advice network in the future!

What are some of your interests/ activities?

Hmm.. are dogs a hobby?? Philip enjoys cycling, going to concerts, and has developed a love of gardening. We both like getting out whether just around our local town or to the beach (especially with the dogs). We are into home improvements and are planning some pretty big renovation works while it’s still just the two of us! I enjoy running and yoga, and spending time with my nieces and nephew. We’re both close with our families and each have a brother and sister, so we’ve got family dinner nights every week and are fortunate that see them all pretty much daily. We also go to rugby games during the season, to support our province of Leinster and we love to get away for short breaks to other parts of Ireland, as well as the amazing European cities on our doorstep.

Other fun facts:

We have two gorgeous dogs, Pearl and Fiadh. Pearl is a 4 year old Golden Retriever mix, and is the offspring of my parent’s dogs – so we both see our parents at the same time ;) Fiadh (Fee-ah) is a 3 year old Irish Setter that we got as a pup from a family friend. They are great sisters – Pearl is gentle and super laid-back, while Fiadh is a full-on diva as beautiful as she is wicked! I work mostly from home, so they’re always at my feet and on the occasional work call ;) In a nutshell… we’re dog people! Philip is the cook and he is awesome! Like everyone else, we do our best to be good and he makes great dinners from scratch most days, and then we’ll absolutely enjoy a take-out on the weekends. Sugar is my drug, so I love cakes and pastries (a little too much). Philip loves experimenting with different spices on his food and has a weakness for cheese & onion flavoured potato chips. We also make an epic chocolate biscuit cake, which is a firm family favourite!

I (Ellie) was born in Scarborough, Toronto, when my folks were living and working in Canada just after they got married. I am the very proud owner of a Canadian passport, so when my doctor suggested Canada as a safe option for surrogacy it felt like a very full-circle moment, and we were delighted to spend a little over a month in Canada in Spring 2023. Canadians, like Irish people, are naturally chatty and welcoming, so we felt very at home. Also, became addicted to Tim Hortons!!

“Philip and I lived in the same town for many years before we got together. He was in my brother's class in school, so I knew of him (there are photos of him at birthday parties in our house). During the pandemic, I was working from home and my folks were doing a major renovation, so I kept being sent on errands to the hardware (Philip's business). I casually mentioned to my hairdresser that I thought Philip was kind of cute. And long story short, she randomly stopped him on the street and asked if he'd like to go on a date with me. They both maintain that he was very eager to accept, and we had a pandemic courtship, which involved long walks around the town because nothing was open! I think we had our first movie date a year after we met :) We moved in together within a couple of months and often wonder how we didn’t find each other sooner!”