Martial & Jeremy

Medical Information:

General Health:

We are both in good health, with no serious medical history or treatment. We have a wonderful Canadian known donor.

Fertility Information:

We have 5 embryos that are PGS tested. We have a wonderful Canadian known donor. We can create more embryos if needed, but we are hopeful our 5 embryos will be enough to carry a pregnancy to term.

Fertility Clinic:

Victory Reproductive Care in Windsor, Ontario.

Why are you looking for a Surrogate?

We chose to use a Surrogate because adoptions for gay couples are very rare in France. We also chose Canada because surrogacy is ethical there, and it's a country that we feel culturally close to and that we love.

Tell us about your family & loved ones.

Our parents are excited at the idea of becoming grandparents, and we're lucky to have close-knit families, both Jérémy's (in the Vosges) and Martial's (in Lille in the north). The same day we told Jérémy's parents that we were considering surrogacy, his father told his friends that afternoon that he was going to be a grandfather (we explained to him that it would take a little time).

Martial has an older sister, Suzanne, who lives in the country and has a 1.5 year old son and a newly born daughter! They live only an hour from our house, so we get to see each other a lot. We have a lot of fun together with the children. Jérémy has a twin sister, Lucie, who lives in the south of France. It's harder to see each other, but sometimes we manage!

Our friends know that we're doing this to become parents, and everyone's delighted. Especially as some of them are starting to have children. We hope that all these little ones will get on well together. Some close colleagues who are also friends know about our journey.

Would you like to attend appointments with your Surrogate?

As we do not live in Canada, we would be happy to come once during the pregnancy, but it will be up to the Surrogate to tell us what she prefers. We don't have any expectations from this point of view, and will adapt to what makes her feel most comfortable.

What are your thoughts on termination of a pregnancy due to genetic abnormalities or complications related to the pregnancy?

The question of abortion raises very sensitive questions, and we are obviously in favour of terminating the pregnancy as a priority in relation to the health of our future Surrogate and secondly in relation to the health of our future child. As she will experience the physical and emotional changes of pregnancy, and in the event that something does not go as planned, it is clear that the opinion and well-being of the Surrogate will be at the centre of any decision related to the termination of the pregnancy. 

In any case, we understand the emotional issues involved and will be there to support our Surrogate whatever the scenario.

If the Surrogate becomes pregnant with multiples, how would you feel? How do you feel about the possibility of selective reduction being recommended due to a multiple pregnancy?

If we had twins we'd be delighted! Jérémy has a twin sister with whom he is very close. If a selective reduction is recommended, we'd be in favour of it so as not to take any risks during the pregnancy for the Surrogate and the child.

Are you vaccinated for Covid-19? Do you have a preference for a Surrogate to have been vaccinated for Covid-19?

We are vaccinated for Covid-19, and we do not have any preferences regarding the vaccination of our Surrogate.

What kind of relationship do you want to have with your Surrogate during the pregnancy?

We are in France, and our Surrogate will be in Canada, however, we would be happy to come to Canada once during the pregnancy to meet her in person if she wishes. Of course we will also be in Canada a few weeks prior to the birth and hope to spend some time with the Surrogate and her family then.

We would like to have easy, unforced communication at a frequency that suits our Surrogate (a video call every two weeks, for example, or more if we all want to, and ongoing conversations on WhatsApp whenever we want).

Do you want to be in the delivery room when your child is born?

It's up to the Surrogate to decide. However, we would like to do skin-to-skin with the baby as soon as possible.

What kind of relationship do you hope to have with your Surrogate after the birth of your child?

We would be honoured and happy to maintain our relationship with the Surrogate if she so wishes. For example, to keep her informed of the milestones in our child's life. In all honesty, we don't have any prior expectations about the relationship we would like to have with our Surrogate. Our biggest hope is that the Surrogate will agree to be in touch with our child, if that is what our child would like.

Would you be open to a home birth?

We won't object if it's very important for our Surrogate and if her other deliveries have gone well, and a maternity unit is very close by in case things get complicated. However, we would really prefer a birth in a maternity hospital with all the necessary medical supplies.

Are you open to midwifery care?

Yes.

Would you like your Surrogate to provide breastmilk?

Yes, especially colostrum.

What will you tell the child about the Surrogate, and the circumstances of their birth? If your child asks to meet the Surrogate, how will you feel?

We will be clear with our child about his or her history (being donor conceived, and carried by a Surrogate, the love of his or her two fathers), so that nothing becomes taboo and we can answer any questions he or she may have and help him or her to blossom. It goes without saying that we will do everything we can to ensure that our child can find answers to his/her questions, and we will be supportive and will encourage he or she to ask our future Surrogate any questions he or she may have.

We believe that this desire to meet the Surrogate will come naturally in due course and will not be a source of apprehension, as we will ensure that there will be no taboo or secret about it. In this case, we will be very happy about this meeting and will ensure that it is a joyful and positive experience for everyone.

If the transfer is unsuccessful, will you want to try again? If so, how soon after?

We would like to, when our Surrogate is ready.

If this surrogacy journey is successful, would you want to complete a sibling journey? What do you envision that looking like? (timeline, same Surrogate etc.)

A first child would already be wonderful. At this stage, we are not considering a second surrogacy adventure.

What are your plans for childcare once the child is born?

We will only be entitled to very limited parental leave (25 days each in addition to our annual leave), so we have started to set aside days off (in France, you can put unused leave into a separate account and use it years later). So the first few months will be a bit challenging, but we will alternate working days so that one of us is always with the baby for the first three months. If all goes well after that and we feel our baby ready, we will start looking for daytime childcare. Probably a nanny a few days a week, then every day.

We also know that we can rely on our parents to help us when we will need it.

In any case, we've started practicing with Suzanne's children, Eliot (18 months) and Ariane (2 months) :)

What does a typical weekend look like for you?

We enjoy spending time with our families, and when at home with our cat. We often take advantage of the weekend to sleep in late, and our families call us ‘marmots’ (similar to groundhogs) Martial's mother even bought us matching pajamas with marmots prints on them. We know that this will change a lot with the arrival of a baby, and we are ready for it!

Typical weekend also includes going into nature, for walks or bike rides.

We also like to see our friends on Friday or Saturday evenings, often at each other's houses, where we talk, play board games, or go to the cinema. 

What are some of your interests/ activities?

Jérémy and I love our families (we are both very close to our parents), it's not a hobby but it does fill up some of our weekends. Otherwise, we cycle around France a lot, there are designated routes that have already taken us many miles. It's the kind of holiday or weekend that clears your head and gives you energy. We plan to buy a bicycle trailer for our baby.

We are both handy in our own way. Jérémy likes to repair and do DIY, (he built two pieces of wooden furniture). Martial is more artistic, so he draws and sculpts a lot. Sometimes he sews and makes greeting cards.

We wanted to join a badminton club this year, but they didn't have any places left :( so we'll continue going to the swimming pool.

Other fun facts:

We have our little cat Skippy (not so little really), who is a gentle and independent player. He's a foster cat who has adapted perfectly to life in the city. We take Skippy to the Vosges, the North and the Pyrenees. Jérémy likes cheese, even though he says it's not good for his cholesterol.
Martial likes fish soup. It may seem strange, but it's so good! Our fun fact is that we share all our clothes except shoes (that's the advantage of being the same size)!