James and Donal

Medical Information:

General Health:

We are both in excellent health, physically active, and maintain BMIs in a healthy range. We run regularly and play tennis together, and we make it a priority to get outside and stay active every day. We cook most of our meals at home and focus on whole, nutritious foods. We are non-smokers. We stay on top of routine medical and dental checkups and take sleep and mental wellbeing seriously.

Fertility Information:

We have 3 normal euploid embryos and 1 mosaic embryo, PGS tested. We had the help of a lovely known donor to create our embryos. If needed, we are willing to create more embryos.

Fertility Clinic:

Create Fertility, Toronto, ON

Why are you looking for a Surrogate?

We are a same-sex couple, so surrogacy is our only path to having a biological child and we are incredibly grateful that this option exists. Becoming parents has always been a deeply held dream for both of us. We have built a loving, stable home and are ready to share our lives with a child.

Tell us about your family & loved ones.

Our parents are already overjoyed. They’ve been incredibly supportive of our decision to start our family through surrogacy. Donal has 6 siblings who together have 12 children and James has one sibling. They’re ready to welcome a new little family member with open arms and all the nieces and nephews are very excited that they might get a new cousin.

Our friends and colleagues have been incredibly positive and supportive. Many of them already have children and are thrilled for us to join the parenting club. (and it will give us another excuse to meet up for playdates!)

Would you like to attend appointments with your Surrogate?

Yes, we would love to attend the key milestone appointments whether virtual or in person. We are conscious that we are based in Ireland which will make planning more important but we are very open to what works for the Surrogate and her schedule. Given we are based in Ireland, attending all will be tricky for us but we would like to attend what we can in person and the remainder virtually, subject to what is comfortable for the Surrogate.

What are your thoughts on termination of a pregnancy due to genetic abnormalities or complications related to the pregnancy?

In a situation where medical professionals advise that the baby would not survive long after birth or would experience significant suffering, we would be open to termination. Similarly, if continuing the pregnancy posed a serious risk to the Surrogate’s health or life, we would support termination.
In a situation involving non-life-threatening conditions or disabilities, we are prepared to love and support a child with challenges, however, we would just want full clarity from doctors so we can make informed choices.

If the Surrogate becomes pregnant with multiples, how would you feel? How do you feel about the possibility of selective reduction being recommended due to a multiple pregnancy?

Putting the risks aside, we would be excited and grateful.
However, the risks are very real with carrying twins or more for both the Surrogate and the babies. Our priority will always be the health and safety of the Surrogate and the babies so if medical professionals strongly advised that selective reduction was the safest option, we would be open to following that guidance.

Are you vaccinated for Covid-19? Do you have a preference for a Surrogate to have been vaccinated for Covid-19?

Yes, we are vaccinated against Covid-19. Our preference would be for our Surrogate to also be vaccinated to help reduce health risks during pregnancy but we are open to discussing this further and are willing to understand her perspective.

What kind of relationship do you want to have the your Surrogate during the pregnancy?

We’d love to stay in touch regularly throughout the journey and form a bond with the Surrogate, but we will also completely respect her space and comfort levels. Our hope is that the relationship feels natural and supportive.

Do you want to be in the delivery room when your child is born?

More than anything we want a child so are very flexible but yes, our preference would be to be in the delivery room if the Surrogate is comfortable with it as it would be an incredibly meaningful moment for us.

What kind of relationship do you hope to have with your Surrogate after the birth of your child?

We would be delighted to maintain a friendship after the birth.
If we are lucky enough to have a Surrogate choose us, she will always hold a very special place in our hearts and in our child’s story and we’d love to stay in touch, if it feels right for her. If she knows how deeply appreciated and valued she is, then we will be happy.

Would you be open to a home birth?

We won’t lie that this would make us a little nervous but we are open to chat with the Surrogate if that is her preference. We don’t know enough to have a clear answer. Ultimately, the wellbeing of the Surrogate and baby will always come first.

Are you open to midwifery care?

We understand that obstetric care is more common in surrogacy journeys given the medical oversight involved, but we are fully supportive of either approach. We’re happy to follow medical recommendations and the Surrogate’s comfort.

Would you like your Surrogate to provide breastmilk?

We understand the benefits of colostrum can be significant and would be grateful if our Surrogate were open to providing it, even for a short time after birth. However, we completely understand if she prefers not to.

What will you tell the child about the Surrogate, and the circumstances of their birth? If the child asks to meet the Surrogate, how will you feel?

We plan to be as open and honest as possible with our child about how they came into the world and explain that a remarkable woman helped us to become a family so that our child will grow up proud of their story. We would be very comfortable with our child meeting the Surrogate at an appropriate time, provided the Surrogate is also open to it. The Surrogate would be a hugely important part of our child’s story so we would completely understand why they would want to meet her.

If the transfer is unsuccessful, will you want to try again? If so, how soon after?

Yes, in this scenario we would like to try again after the Surrogate has had time to recover and feel ready physically and emotionally.

If this surrogacy journey is successful, would you want to complete a sibling journey? What do you envision that looking like? (timeline, same Surrogate etc.)

Yes our intention is to complete a sibling journey but we recognize that we would also be unbelievably lucky to have one child. We have not set a timeline but ideally it would be with around 1.5-2 years after the birth of our first child. It would be ideal to have the same Surrogate but we completely understand there can never be certainty around that.

What are your plans for childcare once the child is born?

Donal will likely become a full time dad. We also have strong family support who are all eager to help. When the time is right, we would also introduce our child to daycare (we call it creche here) before they start pre-school as there are so many social and learning benefits of attending daycare.

What does a typical weekend look like for you?

We love to relax on a Friday night. There is a chat show in Ireland called the Late Late Show so we usually watch that, sometimes with a glass of wine. The odd week we go out for a quick meal but we like to be home early.

James loves being out in the garden on a Saturday so he loves getting up early and getting jobs done in the garden before getting out for a run along the beach. Donal likes to have a more relaxing start to a Saturday by walking to the local coffee shop. We will usually pop out for a few hours which could be visiting family, going for a walk on the beach or on one of the many walking trails where we live, shopping or going out for a nice lunch.
Sunday is more of the same, just with life admin thrown in with the weekly food shop and cleaning the house. We will always get out of the house for a few and do something fun. We usually try and squeeze in a quick game of tennis also.

What are some of your interests/ activities?

We both enjoy running and James has ran many marathons (15 now). We enjoy playing tennis and have attended a few tournaments like the US Open, Wimbledon and the Olympics. We enjoy going to the gym but we regularly fall out of habit of going!
We love walking, especially with pets. We have minded dogs many times for family members and we take our neighbor’s dog for walks sometimes. We don’t have pets of our own yet, but we are dog lovers and there are definitely many dogs ahead in our future! It’s just a matter of when the time is right. We adore animals and love watching animal related programs on TV. If we win the lottery, we would love to own some horses too! We enjoy travelling to new countries.

We love steak and fries, pizza and pasta dishes but nothing can be beat a Sunday roast dinner cooked by either of our parents. When cooking at home, potatoes and vegetables (particularly carrots) are a staple of our meals. We also love avocado toast with poached eggs and chili flakes.

Despite not being overly sporty, we have travelled to a number of events like the Olympics, the US Open, the tennis World Tour Finals and the Ryder Cup golf. Maybe we were sporty in another life!

“We have been together for 5 years and we quickly built a happy and stable life together. We’re very family-oriented, surrounded by supportive relatives and close friends who are all excited for us to become parents. Becoming parents is something we’ve dreamed about together since our very first date and individually since an early age.

Family means everything to us, from Sunday roast dinners and holidays with loved ones to celebrating milestones together.
Our hope is to raise a kind, curious, and confident child and to give them every opportunity to grow, explore, and become their own wonderful person.”