Aron and Gui

Medical Information:

General Health:

Good health condition; no existing medical issues

Fertility Information:

We have 3 PGS tested embryos. We are using donor eggs - the donor will be known to the children if they desire, or when the children turn 18. If necessary, we are willing to create more embryos.

Fertility Clinic:

Victory Reproductive Care (VRC), Windsor, Ontario

Why are you looking for a Surrogate?

The wish of starting a family was something that we both expressed ever since we started dating. We believe that one of the most fulfilling ways to spend our lives would be by building a relationship with a child from their first moments in this world and being there throughout their lives. We knew this would not be an easy journey for a same-sex couple, so before settling on surrogacy we researched many possibilities -- co-parenting, local adoption, international adoption. We decided that raising a child in a single household would be the best base for a child to grow up in. Hence, we preferred surrogacy over co-parenting. We knew surrogacy was the perfect way for us to build our family when we heard about Canada’s altruistic surrogacy laws which support Intended Parents connecting with a Surrogate based on her willingness to help another family realize their dream of becoming parents.

Tell us about your family & loved ones.

Our parents are very excited about this journey. They are very much looking forward to becoming grandparents (again). Aron’s parents live nearby and are eager to spend time with their grandchildren. Although Gui’s parents live further away in Brazil, we will visit them frequently and make sure they can also have a close relationship with their grandchildren. Aron’s brother, his wife, and their baby son (to whom we are appointed legal guardians in case of death) are also very excited to welcome a new family member. They live only five minutes away, so we visit them multiple times during the week. They are also already appointed as our future children’s legal guardians in case of death. Our friends have been very supportive in our journey. Many of them have started pregnancy journeys themselves, and they are very interested to hear and learn about our experiences. The same can be said for our colleagues. Aron’s HR director almost started crying from excitement when she heard, and we will have no problem arranging extended paid leave to travel to Canada at the time of birth.

Would you like to attend appointments with your Surrogate?

We would like to be as involved in the pregnancy as possible and feasible, considering that we do not live in Canada. It would be hard for us to attend obstetrical appointments; however, we’d love to hear detailed updates or even attend virtually. If well planned, we could always try and make it work to attend appointments.

What are your thoughts on termination of a pregnancy due to genetic abnormalities or complications related to the pregnancy?

In case of genetic abnormalities or complications that would significantly impact the health and quality of life of the baby, we would want to terminate the pregnancy. Also, we would want to terminate the pregnancy if there are clear risks to the Surrogate. We would always follow the advice of medical professionals.

If the Surrogate becomes pregnant with multiples, how would you feel? How do you feel about the possibility of selective reduction being recommended due to a multiple pregnancy?

We do realize multiples come with additional risks for both the babies and Surrogates, so we see selective reduction as a way to protect the Surrogate as well as the babies. We will always push for what the doctors recommend is safer for the Surrogate. In case there are no risks for the Surrogate and the babies, we would be open to the idea of continuing a multiple pregnancy and raising multiples.

Are you vaccinated for Covid-19? Do you have a preference for a Surrogate to have been vaccinated for Covid-19?

We are both vaccinated against COVID-19. We would also prefer the Surrogate to be vaccinated as well.

What kind of relationship do you want to have with your Surrogate during the pregnancy?

We would love to have frequent and open communication about everything that is going on -- it is as much of a ride for us as it is for the Surrogate! We want to hear about the small steps, developments, and changes but also talk about the difficult steps, make the difficult decisions, and set boundaries as a team. We would also love to support the Surrogate whenever needed, whether it is to talk about challenges, have a small talk and make her laugh, or give some space when needed.

Do you want to be in the delivery room when your child is born?

Yes, we want to attend the birth. We would love to be in the room as well, but we understand that the Surrogate may prefer not to. We are always willing to work with the Surrogate so that she can have the most comfort and tranquility possible. If this means she'd prefer us out of the room, then we will wait outside of the room.

What kind of relationship do you hope to have with your Surrogate after the birth of your child?

We hope to have formed a bond and special relationship with the Surrogate. Ideally, we would treat this relationship just as we treat our other long-distance friendships - send messages now and then, and send updates on special occasions or big happenings. Visits would also not be discarded; it depends on what boundaries we set as a team.

Would you be open to a home birth?

Yes. As long as it’s healthy and safe for everyone involved.

Are you open to midwifery care?

Yes. We are open to everything regarding obstetric care the Surrogate wants to do, as long as it's healthy and safe for everyone involved.

Would you like your Surrogate to provide breastmilk?

We would like to provide as much stability to the baby as possible, in an already turbulent first months of their lives. Therefore, we’d prefer not to feed breastmilk, and feed them the same formula they will have in the Netherlands.

What will you tell the child about the Surrogate, and the circumstances of their birth? If your child asks to meet the Surrogate, how will you feel?

We believe that honesty is always the best approach. We want to be transparent about the process we have been through to start our family and explain to them in more detail as they grow up. Our children will not likely be born in the same way as their friends. Therefore, we want them to realize from a young age that they were born through a process of love, and we want them to be aware that it took a group of loving women who were willing to support us so much through pregnancy and egg donation so that we could fulfill our dream of having a family.

We completely understand this wish. We realize it will be a strong existential question the child might develop, and it would be important to properly understand and process this journey. We will make sure to thoroughly discuss and answer all questions they might have and will do our best to help them meet the Surrogate – following the boundaries that had been set with the Surrogate during the pregnancy.

If the transfer is unsuccessful, will you want to try again? If so, how soon after?

We would want to try again. However, we do realize there is a high impact on the Surrogate’s body, so we’d want to try again whenever the Surrogate is emotionally and medically ready for another attempt.

If this surrogacy journey is successful, would you want to complete a sibling journey? What do you envision that looking like? (timeline, same Surrogate etc.)

We were both raised having a big brother around, so we have experienced the bonding of having someone who will always be there for you when you are growing up, no matter what. We believe that if we can provide this experience to our future kids, we should. We both agreed that having two children would be the ideal balance in the house. If we would be lucky enough to find a Surrogate who would want to have two journeys with us, we would love that. Ideally, there would be 1-2 years between the birth of the two children.

What are your plans for childcare once the child is born?

We would want to spend as much time as possible with the child while they are young. Therefore, we are both planning to work four days a week after the pregnancy. Also, Aron’s parents will babysit one day a week, so we are planning to have two days of childcare per week.

What does a typical weekend look like for you?

Our weekend typically starts with dinner and drinks with friends or colleagues after work on Fridays; sometimes that means visiting the city center or having a nice meal at home after a busy week. Saturday mornings we like to have a nice late breakfast / lunch, and then do some sort of activity – going for bike rides, visiting friends in neighboring cities, heading to the city to get something special for the house, etc. Sundays are our lazy days, so we like to watch a movie, cook a nice meal, and take care of house chores like laundry or trimming the plants in the garden.

What are some of your interests/ activities?

In our spare time, we love to do sports together. We are part of an LGBTQ Squash club in Rotterdam, and during summer we go frequently on speed bike tours. However, we also enjoy relaxing and spending time with friends and family. When we are on holiday, we enjoy traveling and exploring the world; we just came back from spending 8 days hiking in Peru: 4 days in the Amazon jungle, and 4 days in the Peruvian Andes mountains! After such a trip, we also love to relax a bit by the pool -- which we did for a week while visiting Gui’s parents in Brazil.
Besides that, we also have individual pastimes! Gui also likes to explore his creative side through music. He's been playing the bass guitar since high school, and he started learning the piano during the pandemic.
Aron loves to play basketball, which he has done since he was 9 years old. He’s met some of his long-lasting friends this way, and he loves spending time playing and watching games with them – he couldn’t help himself but visit the Raptors when he visited Toronto last year!

Other fun facts:

Food is an important part of our relationship – both of us love to have good food and try new restaurants! From our first date onwards, we loved frequenting good restaurants together, but of course, some things stand out. You can always make Gui happy with some nice Indian food, and Aron is up for a good steak any moment in the week.

We live in Rotterdam, which is a very international and diverse city – and this is also reflected in our social life! We have a very diverse group of friends, so we are exposed to many cultures and traditions. Some of them end up moving away at some point, but it’s not uncommon for them to stay at our house when they are visiting Rotterdam again.

We do not have pets now, but we were both raised with pets. Aron's cat from his teenage years is still alive, and we petsit him when Aron's parents are on vacation. Gui had three dogs and one cat throughout his life, and the plan is to find a shelter dog once we have completed our surrogacy journey as we also want our kids to experience the love only a house pet can provide.

“We’ve been together for almost 6 years, and we feel it’s the right moment to start a family. We went through important moments of our lives together – finishing our studies, climbing the job ladder, buying our first car, moving from a rental apartment in the city center to our own house on the outskirts – so we are now looking forward to spending important moments with our children as well: seeing them walking and talking for the first time, teaching them how to ride a bike, and travelling with them around the world.”