Guilhem & Nicolas

Medical Information:

General Health:

We are both in good health and have no particular problems to report.
We both look after our health, watching what we eat and exercising several times a week. We don't smoke at all and drink responsibly.

Fertility Information:

We have 10 embryos created. 9 of them have been PGS tested and were all normal. Almost all of the embryos were 5AA which indicates a very good quality. We used an egg donor to create our embryos. She is a semi-known donor, as she only agrees to be contacted once our future child has reached the age of 18. In case none of the current embryos can produce a child, we would be willing to create more embryos.

Fertility Clinic:

Victory Reproductive Care in Windsor, ON

Why are you looking for a Surrogate?

It was definitely something we had to think about. First of all, we didn't specifically want to go through a surrogacy journey and were very open to adoption. Our main goal in this process is to expand our family and to welcome, raise and love our child. We're not attached to genetics, so adoption seemed like a good solution. That said, adoption in France is very complicated for same-sex couples. It's legally possible, but it's very rare for a same-sex couple to go through all the stages of the procedure.
When we finally had to make our decision, we opted for surrogacy. We wanted to do it in a country where surrogacy was regulated and ethically supervised. We took the time to research the different options available around the world and finally chose Canada. The fact that Surrogates don't do it for the money is important to us, because it means they don't have to do it, but only do it for altruistic reasons, like an incredible gift to another parent couple, or to a single parent.

Tell us about your family & loved ones.

Guilhem: My parents are the people whose reaction I feared the most. Not because they don't support me, but because it's so far from the way they've been raised, or considered what a family is until now. We had a long, honest conversation. Since then, they've been really supportive, even if they are sometimes clumsy in the words they use. I think it's really generational, and I'm happy to be able to grow them and be more open with our journey. They are great grandparents to my nieces and nephew, and I look forward to them looking after our child too.
Nicolas: My father died of cancer when I was 11. As for my mother, she was initially a little reticent about the idea of surrogacy, which she perceived as a commodification of women's bodies. After lengthy discussions, she changed her mind and supports our approach. I also have several aunts and uncles, who are all very supportive.

Guilhem: I have two older sisters, each with a son and a daughter. Sharing our journey with them was quite easy. My eldest sister, who had struggled to have a child of her own, was very enthusiastic when I shared our project with her and understood the length of the journey and the complexities that could arise. My second sister was more curious about the process and more specifically about the Surrogate. I explained to her our journey and why we had chosen Canada. Since then, she's been very supportive as well. I think she is terrific at raising her children, so her support was important to me and I'm happy to have it.
Nicolas: Both my brother and sister are very supportive, and can't wait to have a niece or nephew.

Guilhem : All of my friends are really supportive as well. We took out time to discuss it individually so that we could have a proper talk with everyone. Most of my friends are parents, so they totally understand our desire to start our family. As for co-workers, I am kind of private at work about my life. Of course I'm out, but I consider this journey to be so personal that I don't want to share it with everybody.
Nicolas : Our friends are probably the most excited in our support system! We are lucky to have two same-sex couples of very good friends going though their own surrogacy journey, and it's great to have the support of friends going through the same thing. I have mentioned this project to my manager, some co-workers and HR. My company is extremely supportive of LGBTQIA+ equity and everybody is supportive.

Would you like to attend appointments with your Surrogate?

In an ideal world, we'd like to be as close as possible to our Surrogate, both geographically and in terms of friendship. But the fact that an ocean literally separates us will complicate things. So we'd like to be able to attend every important step by video call, to be as close as possible to what's going on. Of course, that is only if the Surrogate feels comfortable with us attending the appointments. Also, schedule permitting, we'd like to visit during the pregnancy, as well as during the final weeks before the birth in Canada, so that we can connect and get closer to our Surrogate and spend time with our child before he or she is even born.

What are your thoughts on termination of a pregnancy due to genetic abnormalities or complications related to the pregnancy?

We think it's a very difficult question to answer, because we believe every situation to be unique and needs reflection.
We see two extremes for which we have different answers- If the abnormalities are severe and our child is at risk of suffering, either mentally or physically, we couldn't continue the pregnancy knowing that they would suffer for the rest of their life. Moreover, if something threatens the Surrogate's health, we would of course be in favor of terminating the pregnancy.
If it's a question of small genetic anomalies, we'll encourage the pregnancy and try to teach our child that this anomaly is a just a difference and that they should be proud of it.
This is certainly a subject we'll discuss with our Surrogate.

If the Surrogate becomes pregnant with multiples, how would you feel? How do you feel about the possibility of selective reduction being recommended due to a multiple pregnancy?

First of all, we would be concerned about the health of the Surrogate. As future parents, we would consider a multiple pregnancy a gift, as long as the health of our Surrogate and our future babies would be as good as possible under such conditions. It would be a big change in our plans, but we'd find ways to keep going.
If the doctors recommend selective reduction, we'd understand, and we'd be concerned that the procedure go well for our Surrogate, physically and mentally, and of course for the remaining embryo. Being far away under these conditions will be particularly difficult, as we won't be able to support our Surrogate as best as we'd like.
Nicolas : my pathology thesis, fellowship and PhD were dedicated to bleeding and clotting disorders in pregnant women, it reinforced in me a great deal of importance to the well being of pregnant women.

What kind of relationship do you want to have with your Surrogate during the pregnancy?

We would like an open and honest relationship, based on trust and sharing, that would respect everyone's needs and boundaries. We would love to have a friendly relationship and frequent contact, for example through a Whatsapp group, during the pregnancy as well as after. She will always be a special person to us.

Are you vaccinated for Covid-19? Do you have a preference for a Surrogate to have been vaccinated for Covid-19?

We are both vaccinated for COVID-19 (of note : I worked as a healthcare professional at the time of pandemic and it was mandatory in France for HCPs to get vaccinated for COVID).

We are willing to work with a Surrogate who is not vaccinated for COVID-19, however we would not feel comfortable working with someone who is opposed to the concept of vaccination overall or who has strong opposition to conventional medicine.

Do you want to be in the delivery room when your child is born?

Of course we'd love to, if and only if the Surrogate agrees. Unfortunately we won't be able to be there for the whole pregnancy, so we don't want to miss this stage. We're thinking of coming to Canada 2-3 weeks before term to spend time with our Surrogate and be there for the birth. If we're not there and a "sudden" birth happens, we probably won't be able to make it in time, but we know we can drop everything and go straight to the airport. I suppose it would be the longest flight of our lives, boarding knowing we won't be able to be reached for 8 hours in such conditions, but we'll do our best to get there as soon as possible.

What kind of relationship do you hope to have with your Surrogate after the birth of your child?

After the birth of our child, we hope that the Surrogate can continue to be part of our lives. We imagine this relationship like that of an overseas friend whom you don't see very often, but to whom you are very close. I hope she'll be willing to meet our child and talk to them when they grow up, because we think it's important for them to understand how our family was built.

Would you be open to a home birth?

We haven't really read up on home birth yet, so it's something we would need to discuss.
Today, we think we'd feel more comfortable and safe in a medical environment, knowing that if the birth gets complicated, medical staff will be there to take care of our Surrogate and the baby. That said, if our Surrogate lives really close to a clinic, this could be an option. We think we will rely on the medical staff's advice. If the pregnancy is going well and there's no risk with a home birth, it could work for us.

Are you open to midwifery care?

We are open to this idea, as it's already common practice in France.

Would you like your Surrogate to provide breastmilk?
It's not that we don't want to, it's that it could make things more complicated for our baby and ourselves once we're away from our Surrogate. If we start with breast milk, we'll have to readapt our child to formula milk afterwards. If we don't start with breast milk, they won't be used to it and won't have to readapt. That's why we'd rather not start giving breast milk, knowing that it's something we won't be able to provide our child in the long term.

What will you tell the child about the Surrogate, and the circumstances of their birth? If your child asks to meet the Surrogate, how will you feel?

We will always be honest with our child. They have to right to know where they come from, and we will share the story when they are old enough and ready. We would be very comfortable if the child asks to meet the Surrogate. We hope to develop such a relationship with the Surrogate that she will become part of our lives and we will exchange news and photos from time to time. If, for any reason, we were to lose contact and the child requested it, we would of course support them. We want to be as clear as possible with our child, when the time comes, about our journey with the Surrogate. How and why we chose the egg donor, who and how our Surrogate was during the pregnancy. I think it's important for us to make sure that they can have direct contact with the Surrogate if they feel the need. It's not up to us to grant or deny access to these women for our child.

If the transfer is unsuccessful, will you want to try again? If so, how soon after?

If the transfer is unfortunately unsuccessful, and the Surrogate is willing to continue, then so are we. The timing between two transfers would be left to the Surrogate and the physicians to decide, based on when it would be safe and when the Surrogate would feel ready.

If this surrogacy journey is successful, would you want to complete a sibling journey? What do you envision that looking like? (timeline, same Surrogate etc.)

We began this process by asking ourselves how many children we wanted. After a few months thought and discussion between us, we finally settled on just one.
The main reason is that we know the surrogacy journey is long and complicated.
Having our first child when we'll be around 35/36, starting a new journey at around 38 would make us welcome another child in our early forties, which seems late to us. We'd rather concentrate on one child and be 100% available for them.
We both grew up with two siblings and really enjoyed that, so of course we thought about "is it best for our child to be the only child? and not grow up with siblings?". We came to the conclusion that they will grow up in a big city, near lots of other kids to be friends with, and that we'll make sure they has lots of social activities like sports, arts to make friends and grow up as surrounded as they want.

What are your plans for childcare once the child is born?

It seems so far away and so important at the same time.
We'll take as many days off as we can. We are lucky that French law offer us 7 weeks of holiday per year.
In addition, we both have a "day savings account" where we can put the vacation days we don't take to use later. Guilhem already put a few days in, knowing that he'd need them to welcome our child as best he could. Guilhem's company gives him a month of paternity leave while Nicolas' company is offering him 14 weeks paternity leave, which will come in very handy.

Then, we hope we'll find a place in a daycare center so that they can grow up with other children during the day, and spend evenings and weekends with their dads. At the moment, we've bought a condo in the Paris suburbs, which will be completed by the end of 2025. A local daycare will be installed on the ground floor of the building, and this was an important criterion to facilitate the daycare years. Guilhem plans to work 4 days a week to look after the child one day a week. That would be the icing on the cake.

What does a typical weekend look like for you?

We have two types of weekend: weekends in Paris and getaway weekends.
Weekends in Paris are pretty relaxed: we often have dinner with friends on Friday evening, and/or a drink in a bar. On Saturday mornings, we go to the local market to do the week's grocery. Guilhem then goes for a run while Nicolas takes on a culinary project (the latest, for example, was dim sum). Saturday afternoons are devoted to naps or walks. Saturday evening is usually another dinner with friends, or a drink in a bar to celebrate a birthday or other festive occasion. Sundays are quieter, Guilhem has a Sunday morning yoga class and Nicolas goes to judo training, then we like to have a bit of quiet time at home, reading with the cat on our laps, or taking a walk in the park next to our house, or going to see a film.
Usually, once or twice a month, we plan something outside of Paris. Guilhem has a sailing weekend about once a month where he loves to go. We can also go to the south of France to visit Guilhem's family, or discover another town in France or even Italy. As Guilhem frequently travels to Italy for work, he sometimes travels to Italy on Fridays and spends the weekend there. When this happens, Nicolas joins and we have a great time.

What are some of your interests/ activities?

Nicolas: I have several hobbies, the main one being cooking. I love to cook. I've got about fifty cookbooks! It's a good way to relax and show people that I care them. You'll often find me watching cooking videos on Instagram or Youtube. It's also a way to connect with my cultural heritage: my mother is French from Reims (the city of Champagne) and my father is Vietnamese-American. I love cooking for dinner parties, and taking on culinary challenges. Cooking is all about sharing, and I can't wait to teach our child to cook. Fun fact: we have a code name for our child which is fougasse, the French cousin of focaccia!
I also love to read, especially novels, but also science fiction and detective stories. My favorite is Gabriel Garcia Marquez's One Hundred Years of Solitude. You'll also often find me with headphones on, listening to indie music.
Finally, I've been practicing judo for almost ten years, and train twice a week. I'm actually the community manager of my judo club, which is an LGBTQIA+ club open to all. It combines so many things that are close to my heart: discipline, benevolence, inclusiveness, surpassing oneself, friendliness.
Guilhem : I've been sailing since I was 12. I started sailing in the summer, in the south of France, and I took up again 3 years ago with a Parisian association with whom I go sailing once a month. I really enjoy these moments, which allow me to get away from everyday life and recharge my batteries. In Paris, I try to keep up a rhythm of one hour's running, one hour's yoga and one hour's swimming at the pool each week. I also like to spend time at home, usually resting and reading, or doing interior work - I really enjoy DIY. When we moved into our apartment, I redid the kitchen and bathroom with my father.

We've visited 14 countries together, and can't wait to show our little one the world. Our favourite destination was without a doubt Costa Rica this summer, where Guilhem proposed to Nicolas!

Other information:

We have an amazing tuxedo cat, named Fulbert. He is the cudliest and most affectionate cat ever. We'd been thinking of having a cat for a while, then one morning three years ago, Guilhem woke up to Nicolas, very excited, showing him that cat. We took the car to get the cat, and it was love at first sight. We were looking to adopt a disabled cat, and when we got him he had trouble walking, alledgedly neurologic damage, which miraculously disappeared after a few months. He's super healthy.
Nicolas always had cats growing up, but Guilhem never had a pet before. He felt kind of unsure, having never had to take care of an animal, but less than a couple hours after welcoming Fulbert, they were already inseparable.
Our nieces and nephews love to play and cuddle with him too.
We both have hybrid jobs where we work part time from home, and Fulbert is definitely our favourite co-worker! We like to call him "big brother cat", and love imagining him being our child's first best friend, and taking naps with them as he does with us now.

Guilhem : My favorite food is definitely the one Nicolas cooks for me. He is an amazing cook. One of his special talents in the kitchen is being able to make an amazing meal with an empty fridge or from leftovers. He always has good ideas of combinations I never would have thought about.
He named a dish after me which is one of the cute things he does (it's ground pork and lots of Swiss chard cooked with loads of ginger, miso paste and sesame oil, and a kick of homemade chili oil).
He can prepare a lot of different things, but his specialty is Asian food (mostly Vietnamese and Japanese).
I also like classic Mediterranean food : anything made of tomatoes, garlic and olive oil makes me the happiest.
Nicolas : that is a VERY tough question, and I could talk about food for hours. I would say bahn mi has a special place in my heart (a vietnamese sandwich with french baguette bread), but so many dishes do too : lasagna, anything with eggplants, anything with mushrooms, grilled fish, seafood, thai curries… I really like wholesome food too. There are always loads of freshly cut fruits in our fridge, that's a habit I caught from my Vietnamese grandmother. That and drinking probably too much coffee...
My favourite breakfast would be Greek yogurt with fresh fruits and homemade granola. If it's a special occasion, nothing beats French toast.
My favourite dessert is the classic French crème brûlée, loaded with vanilla beans.
I also really like to prepare food for the holidays. For example, for the lunar new year, nothing beats homemade springrolls and nems!

One fun fact on each of us:
- Guilhem was an in a movie that was screened at the Festival de Cannes! He played a sailor in a movie set in 1920s Paris, in a scene shot in a beautiful museum in Paris. His name is in the credits, however he discovered he was cut out of the movie when he went to see it!
- Nicolas won a trip to Italy on Facebook (yes, these are not always scams!) and spent a week in Italy with 23 other people from all over Europe to discover the southern region of Italy called Puglia. This trip was designed to make ads and videos to promote tourism in this beautiful part of Italy. You may still find some videos on the internet!

“We met in Paris in January 2016, and we are technically still on our first date, since we've been together ever since! We moved in together after nine months and bought our first apartment in 2018. We have been in a civil partnership since 2017, and got engaged this summer, with a wedding planned in June 2025.
Guilhem proposed to Nicolas in August, during our holidays in Costa Rica. We were hiking in a beautiful place called Viento Fresco, a trail of 12km with four beautiful waterfalls. We were alone that day on the whole trail, except for the park owner's dog who decided to join us on the whole hike, like a four-legged private guide! At the end of the trail was the tallest waterfall, called Rainbow Waterfall. Guilhem saw that as a sign, and as we both swam in the natural pond at the bottom of the waterfall, he got on one knee and proposed.

Our greatest hope and aspiration is to build a loving family and be a positive source of love and energy for our loved ones.”