Dear You,

Before we get to the serious stuff, we feel we should probably disclose a few things.

We have five dogs. Yes, five.

One of us voluntarily dives with sharks.

One of us is the funniest person the other has ever met.

One of us is incredibly organized and loves cleanliness—which might make you wonder about the five dogs.

Our freezer contains a medically questionable quantity of homemade ice cream. The quality, however, is excellent.

Welcome to our little corner of the world.

We’re Fi and Oliver. And we’re delighted to meet you.

Before we tell you anything more about ourselves, we’d simply like to say thank you. Not because we expect anything, but because you’re here, reading our story and considering whether this is a journey you might want to share with us.

We hope that, by the end of this letter, you’ll feel like you know us a little bit, too. So let’s dive into our story.

Oliver is one of the most passionate and ambitious people you’ll ever meet. When he believes in something, he quietly works until he achieves it. He’s endlessly positive, deeply kind, and has a wonderful way of making difficult things feel possible. He’s adventurous too, although his and Fi’s definitions of adventure occasionally differ. Fi happily dives with sharks and adores exploring the natural world, both underwater and on land. Oliver loves hiking and sailing, generally preferring his water where the sharks are somewhere else entirely.

Fi throws herself into all of life’s endeavours with extraordinary passion. Running ridiculous distances—100 km and beyond!—travelling the globe, making homemade sourdough and ice cream in the same afternoon, or helping start-ups become leading brands in their respective markets. Cooking is her happy place, and Oliver is her faithful dishwasher, taste tester, and baking apprentice.

We have so much fun together. It is the best part of our relationship. Oliver is incredibly quick-witted, and Fi has made it her life’s goal to outwit him. We are equally stubborn, which keeps things interesting and occasionally causes irritation, but we always work things through and never go to bed annoyed with each other.

This summer, Oliver proposed under the stars in Zambia. Fi noticed he seemed nervous and assumed it was because there were lions nearby. It turned out he had something else on his mind. We are now engaged, planning a wedding, and hoping to grow our family. “Everything, all at once.”

People often ask how we met. The truth is, we’ve known each other for years, as our parents have been friends for decades. Our families have shared holidays, birthdays, and countless memories together. But somehow, life waited to bring us together during what also happened to be one of the hardest chapters of our lives. One of Oliver’s best friends was Fi’s younger brother, Friso. We lost him in a terrible accident in 2024. Out of the greatest heartbreak either of us had ever known came the greatest love story we never expected. Nor did our parents.

Not long afterwards, we also lost Fi’s dad. Those years changed us forever. Through all of it, Oliver became Fi’s rock. Her sanity. Her guiding light in the darkness. He never tried to fix what couldn’t be fixed. He simply stayed. Day after day. Bringing calm to the storm, making her laugh when she thought she couldn’t, and quietly reminding her that she never had to carry any of it alone.

Our losses remind us every single day that life is fragile, sometimes wonderfully unpredictable, and far too precious to save for “one day.” So we don’t.

We live now.

We travel far.

We celebrate ordinary Tuesdays.

We laugh loudly.

We dance in the kitchen.

We tell the people we love that we love them.

We dream big.

We believe in “everything, all at once”.

And that brings us to why we’re here.

At thirteen, Fi was diagnosed with a complex form of MRKH. She was born with a uterus, but her cervix was blocked. After months of abdominal pain and repeated hospital visits, doctors discovered that she had been having periods without the blood being able to leave her body. By the time they understood what was happening, she was experiencing contractions and needed emergency surgery. She was thirteen, trying to make sense of something incredibly complex. For the next few years, medication suppressed her cycle. At fifteen, she underwent reconstructive surgery, followed by six months of rehabilitation. When doctors discovered the surgery had failed, she had to return to the medication. At eighteen, an allergic reaction meant she could no longer continue that treatment. Two months later, she had a hysterectomy.

Fi has known since then that she would never be able to carry a pregnancy. But knowing that at eighteen and being ready to explore another path to parenthood were two very different things. It wasn’t until being with Oliver that she wanted to discover what might be possible. Together, we began exploring our options and found that surrogacy was the path we wanted to take.

For Oliver, this wasn’t the journey he imagined when he pictured becoming a dad. Yet he never hesitated about building a family with Fi. Something she had lived with for years became something we could look towards together, with hope.

We’re here because we want to become a family, together. We want to meet the little person who will turn our lives upside down, discover who they are, and help them find their way. We have so much love to give, but we need someone’s help to make this part of our future possible.

We know parenting won’t be perfect. There will be sleepless nights, impossible homework, muddy shoes and dirty clothes, endless questions beginning with “Why?”, and someone eventually deciding crayons belong on walls.

Honestly… we’re looking forward to all of it. Because perfection has never been the goal. Building a life filled with love, laughter, and a little bit of chaos always has.

Canada holds a special place in our hearts, as it has always been part of Oliver’s story. His grandparents lived there, and many of his happiest childhood summers were spent visiting them with his cousins. To this day, his family gathers every summer at their cottage to simply be together. We love the thought that our future child could have that same connection, that the country where they take their first breath would always be part of our family’s life.

Alongside each other, we’re incredibly fortunate to have an amazing “village” around us. Family and friends who have carried us through unimaginable loss, celebrated every joyful milestone, and shown us what unconditional love really looks like. We can’t wait to welcome a child into that village. To add another chair around the dinner table. Another Christmas stocking. Another pair of muddy boots by the front door.

And then there’s you.

It’s difficult to put into words how often we’ve imagined writing this part, writing to you. More than anything, we want you to know that this journey isn’t only about us. It’s about you, too. We want to get to know you, your family, and what matters to you. We want you to laugh with us. We want to celebrate milestones together and for you to feel that, if you wanted to, you could share every weird craving or 3 a.m. worry with us.

We want you to feel safe. Supported. Heard. Respected. Whether near or far, we would work out together how to support you, while respecting your privacy, your choices, and the time you need for yourself and your family.

Your health matters. Your happiness matters. Your family matters. You matter to us.

We hope our relationship would continue beyond the pregnancy. With our yearly visits to Canada, we would love to stay in touch and see each other, if that is something you would welcome. We would let that connection grow naturally, without pressure or expectations about what it has to look like.

One day, we’ll tell our child that before they were born, they were already surrounded by extraordinary love and kindness. Our child will know your name and, if you let us, our child will know your heart, too. They will know that an entire village was waiting for them. That Mum and Dad wanted them so much they crossed an ocean to welcome them. And that one remarkable woman chose to help us grow our family.

We want our children to know that love goes beyond borders. That generosity can bring people into each other’s lives in ways they never imagined. That kindness can change lives.

We think about the bedtime stories, the birthdays, the family holidays, and all the ordinary Tuesdays we hope are ahead of us. Your kindness would always be part of that story.

Thank you for considering us. We can’t wait to hear your story, too. With all our love and gratitude,

Fiona and Oliver