Keith and Keith

Medical Information:

General Health:

Good, we have no known chronic conditions & don't take any regular medicines.

Fertility Information:

Yes, we have 9 PGT-A tested normal embryos & a further 3 which are untested. Our embryos were created with the help of a known donor. We can create more embryos if needed but we are hopeful we have enough.

Fertility Clinic:

Victory Reproductive Care in Windsor, Ontario.

Why are you looking for a Surrogate?

As a same sex couple, surrogacy is our only option to have a family of our own. Adoption in Ireland is now rare which is a positive when considering children’s welfare. The only adoptions that take place nowadays here are usually step-parents adopting their step-children or long-term foster parents adopting the child in their care.

There's also an added excitement with surrogacy because we have a genetic link with our embryos. Like any other IP, we look forward to seeing what physical or personality traits our future children will inherit.

Tell us about your family & loved ones.

Parents are supportive on both sides. Keith W's parents currently have two grandchildren whom they look after as if they were their own children. However, there's none currently on Keith M's side so because of this there is more excitement & anticipation from his Mum Liz & Step-dad Vinnie. They also live closer to us so will likely have more involvement with day to day life of the child. Keith W has a sister & two brothers. His sister would take an interest in the journey & would love to hear when we get to the next step as she has a son herself. He also has two brothers as does Keith M. So while they would be happy for us to achieve a family of our own, being typical heterosexual men they aren't very forthcoming with their feelings!
Most of our friends are aware of our surrogacy journey. We've remained friends with another male couple whom we met at a Growing Families seminar in 2021. While they ultimately chose not to pursue surrogacy for financial reasons they are now fostering & hoping it might lead to adoption. They are definitely big cheerleaders for us, a great support & hoping that we get to the end of the journey that they were unfortunately not able to complete. We have friends who have had to go through IVF to have children themselves so we share an added bond with them & are a huge source of support also. Other friends who have children are also very eager for us to get to the end of the journey so we can start having play dates.

Would you like to attend appointments with your Surrogate?

We would love to however, as international IP's we won't be able to. We would love if the Surrogate was able to keep us up to date on WhatsApp with messages/pictures or even with a video call or recorded video if she felt comfortable with that.
For the milestone visits such as initial ultrasounds or anatomy scans, we would love a videocall or recorded message so we can see the scans. We wouldn't expect a full debrief on the straightforward routine antenatal visits.

What are your thoughts on termination of a pregnancy due to genetic abnormalities or complications related to the pregnancy?

It would of course be heartbreaking if that situation were to occur, however, if the baby had a fatal or severe genetic abnormality or condition that would not allow a quality of life, we would agree to a termination in those circumstances. For example we would seek termination for major genetic abnormalities such as Trisomies etc. but would not feel it’s necessary for minor abnormalities such as cleft lip or palate unless this was associated with other major genetic defects. Also in the case of a risk to the life of the Surrogate we would agree to a termination in that situation.
As our embryos are PGT tested we hope the likelihood of this is low. Regarding an amniocentesis, we would probably opt for less invasive testing due to the risk of miscarriage especially as the embryos are already PGT tested. However, we would be open to discussion with our doctor, Surrogate & indeed the agency & lawyer as a team to discuss that test if there were signs on ultrasound that an amniocentesis might be recommended.

If the Surrogate becomes pregnant with multiples, how would you feel? How do you feel about the possibility of selective reduction being recommended due to a multiple pregnancy?

We know with IVF there is a higher chance of a twin pregnancy compared to a natural conception. We are prepared for that possibility & would be ok if it was a safe & healthy twin pregnancy. We understand that there are increased reimbursement costs for the Surrogate for a twin pregnancy & potentially a higher chance of bedrest or C-section which will also incur additional cost & we are prepared for that. For a twin pregnancy, in scenarios of a foetal demise of one twin or complications such as twin-twin transfusion syndrome we would agree to a selective reduction.

It is heart-breaking to think of selective reduction when we are trying to have our first child however, we have discussed this in detail & have come to an agreement on it. In the rare scenario, of increased multiples such as 3 or 4 we would agree to selective reduction due to the much higher risk of complications.

Are you vaccinated for Covid-19? Do you have a preference for a Surrogate to have been vaccinated for Covid-19?

Yes we are both vaccinated. We would prefer a Surrogate who is also vaccinated more for reasons of personality than having the vaccine itself. We feel if someone is unvaccinated there may be a higher chance of them having an anti-vax stance which is a trait we would not connect with. If she is unvaccinated but does not have an anti-vax stance then we would be happy to move forward with that Surrogate also.

What kind of relationship do you want to have with your Surrogate during the pregnancy?

We hope to have open communication with our Surrogate throughout the pregnancy whether it’s on WhatsApp, zoom or calls. We are obviously living in a different time zone & appreciate the Surrogate has her own life to live so we would be patient in arranging times to check in. Our aim is to build an authentic & natural relationship with her that is not constrained by set times or frequency of contact. We have huge respect & admiration for women who are willing to help families like ours so we hope that will come across to her & will be a great basis to build a friendship & bond.

Do you want to be in the delivery room when your child is born?

Ideally, yes. I myself (Keith M) have supported a few women, during labour & childbirth during my medical education so I feel I would be a good, calm source of support. Keith W despite being a bit squeamish about blood or medical procedures is naturally quite laid back so we would hope to bring a sense of calm support in the delivery room. However, if the Surrogate preferred to only have her partner or chosen support person there, we would 100% respect & support that. Regardless of what is in the legal agreement we would also respect if the Surrogate changes her mind during labour, so either way will be guided by the Surrogate on this.

What kind of relationship do you hope to have with your Surrogate after the birth of your child?

We would love to have a lifelong friendship with her. Exactly what that will look like all depends on the relationship that develops during the pregnancy & afterwards. It would make us feel uneasy for a Surrogate to go through all of this with us & then to never have contact with her again. She is going to be an integral part of our child or children's story. For their emotional wellbeing we hope that she would be comfortable to stay in contact.
Rather than specifying how we should stay in contact or how often etc. we hope that both of us as IP's & the Surrogate will have built a relationship & knowledge of each other so that everyone will naturally know how to maintain the relationship. We have a known egg donor, who is also willing to be contacted should our children want to connect or ask questions which we feel is important again for their emotional wellbeing. Despite the genetic connection that the egg donor has, we feel the relationship with our Surrogate is more important considering she will carry & give birth. So we really want to make a connection that lasts but one that is natural & not forced.

Would you be open to a home birth?

Ireland has one of the lowest rates of maternal & infant mortality in the world partly due to the vast majority of babies being born in hospitals (whether that’s under midwifery care or combined with Obstetricians), so homebirths are rare here. We would be nervous about the safety of a homebirth & would ideally prefer a birth in a hospital in case of needing an assisted delivery or C-section.

Are you open to midwifery care?

We are open to midwifery care for a safe uncomplicated pregnancy. For a twin pregnancy or if there are any medical issues, we would want the Surrogate to be cared for by an Obstetric team.

Would you like your Surrogate to provide breastmilk?

Only if she felt comfortable & was able to express. We know the benefits of the colostrum first milk for the baby so it would be great if she was able & comfortable to provide breastmilk at least initially. But it is certainly not a hard-line requirement, so we are very flexible on it & are equally ok if it’s not something she is comfortable doing or is unable to do.

What will you tell the child about the Surrogate, and the circumstances of their birth? If your child asks to meet the Surrogate, how will you feel?

We plan to create a book or scrapbook, something personal for our child that shows the full story of how much they were wanted & the lengths we went to, to bring them into the world. We plan to tell the kids their story from an early age & read them their book at bedtime. We want them to know how loved they were, long before they were even born & how many people helped in bringing them into the world. So, even though their family might look a little different to others at school they actually have the most special family that includes everyone involved in making them & their birth. We want them to feel a sense of pride in how loved they are & not to have any shame or questions or longing. We hope that by being so open at a young age, by the time they are teens or adults they won't really have any questions that need answering because they'll already know everything.
Also, as we want to have an ongoing friendship with the Surrogate who we see becoming an extended family member, we hope that our child will have at least met our Surrogate on a videocall & hopefully in person too, so, they will know her as a key part of their story.

If the transfer is unsuccessful, will you want to try again? If so, how soon after?

Yes, we would want to try again. We appreciate that ivf only has a certain chance of success on a first transfer so while we’d hope for success on the first attempt, we are fully aware of the possibility of needing further transfers.

If this surrogacy journey is successful, would you want to complete a sibling journey? What do you envision that looking like? (timeline, same Surrogate etc.)

Our dream would be to give our first born a sibling. We are both the eldest in our families so we both grew up with siblings. We feel it’s of great benefit to kids both socially & for their development & for fun too!
We would love that second journey to be with the same Surrogate especially as we’ll have already built that bond & will have experienced a journey together. We want to have plenty of energy for two children, therefore we would like to do a sibling journey as soon as it is practically possible after a first journey. So to do the second journey quicker than having to find a second Surrogate we feel working with the same Surrogate would help us achieve that dream easier.
However, our priority is of course to have our first child right now. So if a Surrogate was a perfect fit for us in every other way but wasn’t open to a sibling journey that would not rule out a match for us.

What are your plans for childcare once the child is born?

I (Keith M) currently work 3 set days per week & intend to keep to that after the baby is born so for 4 days per week, I will be able to care for the baby. Keith W does shift work so his days off change as per his roster. His days off are 4 days in a row unless he has to attend court. So there will be times when he’s able to mind the baby on the days I work. At times where his roster doesn’t match up, my mum Liz has offered to help with childcare also & only lives a 10-minute drive away from our house. She is very eager to be a granny as we currently have no grandchildren on our side.
Then when the child turns 3 the government here provide 15 hours per week free in preschools. They are of great advantage to kids for socializing & learning ahead of starting primary school.

What does a typical weekend look like for you?

Weekends vary for us because Keith W works shifts, so he tends to work two weekends in a row followed by two weekends off. So if we are doing anything together it often requires planning ahead.
We share jobs like cooking & housework so if one of us is off the other will take care of dinner & the house jobs. So typical weekends tend to be taken up with all of the adulting for the week ahead, grocery shopping, laundry, cooking & cleaning etc.
When we get the chance to do more enjoyable activities, we enjoy going out to eat, breakfast especially & treat ourselves to French toast or pancakes usually. We also like trying new places to get a coffee & a treat, Keith W now enjoys good coffee (a habit he only developed after joining the police) & for Keith M his go to is breakfast tea but loves a Chai Latte if it’s available in the café. We used to enjoy bringing our dog, Waffle for a walk & treating him to a puppaccino when we had a cafe nearby that offered them.
Despite living in a semi-rural area, we are lucky to have a local café a 5-minute walk away from our house, so if we’re feeling lazy, we’ll go there. The royal canal runs directly beside that café & it’s where we usually bring Waffle for a walk. There’s a farm next to the canal so we love seeing how excited Waffle gets to see the sheep. If we’re not walking along the canal we go to the lakes especially on a nice day.

We both like watching Ireland play in rugby internationals. There’s a competition called the Six Nations played across February & March each year with more Internationals in Autumn. Keith Walsh occasionally gets to work at the games & sometimes gets into the stadium to see some of the match. If he’s not working at them, we like going out locally to watch the games on TV & soak up the atmosphere. Unfortunately, we finished third in the competition this year having previously won the past two years competitions.
We try to get to a few gigs throughout the year whether it’s a comedy gig or a concert. These are usually in Dublin our most recent one was The Killers. We also have a greyhound racing stadium in town which is always a fun night out. Keith W used to train greyhounds in his younger days, so he tends to be better at picking out the winners!

We usually get away for a few weekend breaks during the year whether in Ireland or abroad. We visit friends who live in west Cork at least once a year who have a lovely house on a hill looking out to the sea. We love getting to explore the many places worth visiting down there. Visiting London is another favourite place of ours. It’s only a short flight from Dublin & we love exploring the city taking in the architecture & vibe & always make time to see a West End show. We saw the stage show of Mrs. Doubtfire (also one of our favourite films) most recently. Another favourite was Mary Poppins, it was truly magical & made us feel like we were kids again.

What are some of your interests/ activities?

Keith M: I absolutely love interior design & everything home related. I could spend all day in furniture or homeware shops much to Keith W’s dismay. We built our forever home & moved in, in July 2024, which was a personal dream come true. I started an Instagram page to document the journey which kept me busy at the time too. Although, we did have a project manager on the build I did a lot of the organizing & managing work, as well as all of the designing. While Keith W put down some of our floors & is in charge of the DIY jobs that are left to do. Although we have a lot done there’s still plenty of things to finish. So I spend a lot of time online browsing furniture & anything house related.

I enjoy walking (& managed to average above the 10k steps per day last year which I’m trying to keep up this year too) & playing with Waffle. Life definitely revolves around him right now. Athletics is my favourite sport. There are only a few competitions shown on TV throughout the year, but I like to watch when they are on. I used to run & have done a few 10k’s for charity in the past. Doing a marathon is still on the bucket list but it’ll have to wait while we’re finishing our house & pursuing our surrogacy journey.

In the evenings I like catching up on our favourite tv shows with Keith & Waffle. I love anything house or design related & my guilty pleasure is RuPaul’s Drag Race. Our shared favourite shows are Home of the Year, First Dates, & Gogglebox. I love music & was in a choir in school. We won a national competition during its final ever year being held, so my claim to fame is being an ongoing All Ireland champion! I’ve had a guitar for years but have never committed to learning it properly. I started learning “Smelly Cat” by Phoebe from the show “Friends” previously & if I can master that someday I’ll be happy. I also have a keyboard that’s currently in storage but I self-taught myself piano on it & can play a few tunes. I’ve quite an eclectic music taste from The Killers to Beyonce, anything I can dance to though or sing along with at home like no one’s watching makes me happy. I love & miss the 90's & will admit I love The Spice Girls!

I’ve always liked reading, my favourites at the minute are Steve Berry books & I’m working my way through his collection usually in bed before I go to sleep. I’ve also recently started to essentially re-learn Irish on Duolingo. We were taught it in school but unless you live in an Irish speaking part of Ireland there’s little opportunity to use the language, so you inevitably lose it. The Duolingo app is like a game which makes it fun. I definitely want to upskill before our child is born so I’m able to help with the Irish homework.

Keith W: I'm very passionate about my work in the detective unit. Although, it can get very busy I still have a big interest in the job & career progression, so this keeps me focused & motivated. I get the opportunity to work at some matches & concerts in Dublin so that’s always an added bonus. On days off I try to get some of the DIY jobs done around the house.

When I'm home though, I do love to relax & wind down. I enjoy watching horse racing having grown up on a stud farm where my Dad worked as a Stud groom. I used to get to a meeting at least once a year but not in recent years while we’ve been busy with the house.

I enjoy spending time with Keith, watching TV, or if watching on my own I have to admit I watch a lot of police shows. I like keeping up with current affairs & news whether on my phone or on the 9 o’clock news. I also enjoy spending time with Waffle whether it’s going for a walk or just napping on the couch. For my 40th birthday Keith got me a cake made in the shape of a chair with a figure of me on my phone & Waffle on my lap.

I like music too & I always throw on my earphones while I’m cooking or doing jobs around the house. I’m usually listening to Sam Fender or Bruce Springsteen. I also like to listen to podcasts when I’m out walking or on my commute to work.

Aside from horse racing, my favourite sport is soccer & I played for local teams as a teenager. Manchester United are the team I support. Although they are not playing well this year, I still watch their games on the TV when I can. I’ve been to the UK a few times to see them play.

Other fun facts:

Our "fur-baby" Waffle is a Cockapoo breed but definitely has more of the cocker spaniel genes. He's a beautiful apricot/blonde colour. He's a softy & so friendly but will still bark when the doorbell goes. We might need to train him on that one before he wakes a baby up! We talked about getting a dog for years. We had lived in an apartment before we bought a house with a garden. So once we had that space, we got Waffle. He was a welcome addition during peak Covid in June 2020 & he definitely kept us sane during that difficult time. He's a source of such love & joy to both of us. He's extremely clever & turns his head when we talk to him as if he understands every word. We often ask him whether he wants a brother or sister. He has already made us into a family & we know he will be so happy & gentle with our new arrival. Fun fact, he's a great singer! I (Keith M) used to sing to him as a puppy & one day he suddenly howled along. So we nurtured his talent & now we can get him to sing when listening to particular songs.

We’re pretty traditional when it comes to food, although Keith W is more adventurous when it comes to trying new things. We both like a good Sunday roast dinner especially for the roast potatoes. We have a bit of friendly banter as to who makes the nicer roasties. We also like homemade Irish Stew. We try to limit red meat at home so if we go to a restaurant for dinner, we usually like to treat ourselves to a steak – medium for Keith Murray & well done for Keith Walsh. We’re definitely a main & dessert couple, over starter & main course.
We both have a bit of a sweet tooth; Keith M’s favourite pastry would be a cinnamon roll while Keith W would opt for a Danish. Keith W is a self-proclaimed chocaholic (only if it’s milk chocolate though!). If it’s choice between chocolate & crisps (chips) Keith M would go for the crisps (chips).

Keith W actually enjoys ironing! He also definitely suffers from scrolling on the phone addiction. Despite being 43 years old, Keith W is still extremely ticklish.

Keith M has double jointed thumbs. Around the age of 10, he won a solo singing competition for his county, which was held in a classroom at his school, despite laughing in the middle of the song because his 18 month old baby brother Eric shouted out his name.

It might seem odd that we have the same first name, but we would rarely address each other as Keith. It would only be if we were in a public setting to catch the others attention or if it’s said at home, you know you are in trouble! Our nicknames for each other are Mitchy (Keith Murray) & Walshy (Keith Walsh). Mitchy came from a character called Mitch on an old TV show & Walshy was an easy one adding the ‘y’ to Walsh.

“We met online during the summer of 2012 & hit it off as friends first. We rented an apartment together in 2013 & it wasn't long until we were like an old married couple. Much like Monica & Chandler from the tv show "Friends" after living together we went from just friends to a relationship & we've been together ever since. Based on the organizing skills & having a place for everything, Keith M is Monica… in case you were wondering!

We got engaged in April 2017 in The Shelbourne Hotel in Dublin. It's a grand 5-star hotel beside St. Stephen's Green in central Dublin & probably the most well known hotel there. Keith W had just finished his police training & I (Keith M) brought him to the hotel on the pretence that it was gift for his graduation. He didn't know where we were staying until we arrived. I had arranged everything & instead of a ring I bought him a watch to propose with. I went to the check-in desk, nervous trying to keep everything under wraps so when the receptionist said she knew what was planned it made me more nervous but thankfully Keith was waiting at a bench with our bags so it didn't give the game away.

For the actual proposal I had written a little book using an online website about our story together with two stick men as characters representing us. It begins with our story followed by all the things "I love about you" & finally it asked the question "will you marry me." I had to have Keith read the book in full to get to the proposal & strangely he never suspected a thing. I had managed to hide the watch & once he got to the will you marry me page I was able to go down on the knee and present him the watch. He obviously said yes. I had arranged another surprise which arrived just in time with a knock at the door & we had chocolate covered strawberries & prosecco to celebrate. Before popping the bubbly we turned on the radio for some music & were surprised to hear the song "Marry You" by Bruno Mars. It was like there was someone watching over us & helping me create a magical day.

The final surprise I had arranged was booking a private room for dinner in a lovely restaurant around the corner from the hotel called Fire. The added surprise was that our immediate family on both sides knew about the engagement & were coming to dinner to celebrate with us. So while we had a drink at the bar in the hotel I was secretly making sure everyone had arrived at the restaurant. When we arrived to the room it took Keith more than a few seconds to realize everyone was there & I could finally relax knowing everything went to plan!

We’ve previously had two properties together an apartment in Dublin followed by a semi-detached house in Maynooth & have now finished building our forever home near Mullingar, where Keith Murray grew up (which is also Niall Horan's hometown from One Direction). We planned to get married in July 2020, but it was deferred due to the pandemic. We finally got married on 22nd August 2021, an extra special date as it's both granny Liz’s & her brother Michael's birthday, who were born exactly one year apart, a phenomenon known as Irish twins over here.”