Daniel and Nick

General Health:

We are in good health.

Fertility Information:

Yes, we have 21 embryos. 11 were PGS tested with 9 of those coming back normal and hot to go! We are using donor eggs through a known donor.

Fertility Clinic:

Victory Reproductive Care

Why are you looking for a Surrogate?

As a gay couple, the pathways to parenthood aren't always straightforward. Adoption in France for gay couples is extremely difficult so we started looking into surrogacy as an option to build our family. In speaking with friends that have gone through the surrogacy journey, we were inspired by the ways in which this type of journey can gather together a beautiful community of people (and especially a wonderful egg donor and Surrogate) to help bring a child into the world.

Tell us about your family & loved ones.

Our parents are so excited that we are having children, and can't wait to be grandparents. All our siblings are incredibly supportive, and can't wait to meet the little one. Our siblings are incredible parts of our support network and we know we can lean on them for advice or assistance whenever needed. Our nieces, nephews and god-children are very excited as well. We have a great group of friends who are very supportive of our decision and looking forward to being additional uncles and aunties in our child's life. We also are part of an association in Paris of LGBTQ+ parents and future parents, who are helping us navigate the process, and will be there as a community as we raise our child.

Would you like to attend appointments with your Surrogate?

As we're far away, we don't know if we'll be able to be there with you in person, but we would love to be there with you for support virtually. We would love to be there virtually during the embryo transfer if that's something you are comfortable with.

What are your thoughts on termination of a pregnancy due to genetic abnormalities or complications related to the pregnancy?

For us, the health of the Surrogate is of the utmost priority, with termination a possibility if necessary to protect her health. We would also consider termination if the fetus is developing in an abnormal way, in consulting with our medical team.

If the Surrogate becomes pregnant with multiples, how would you feel? How do you feel about the possibility of selective reduction being recommended due to a multiple pregnancy?

On the one hand, we'd be very excited to have twins, but on the other hand the health of our Surrogate and baby is the highest priority. If the need arises for selective reduction, we'd want to discuss the risks with our Surrogate and the medical team to make a more informed decision, but we wouldn't want to rule out selective reduction at this stage.

We do want to have multiple children, so if our Surrogate is ok with it, and her doctors give the go ahead, we would be happy to welcome multiple children.

Are you vaccinated for Covid-19? Do you have a preference for a Surrogate to have been vaccinated for Covid-19?

We are both vaccinated for Covid-19. We'd prefer that our Surrogate is vaccinated as well, but depending on their risk profile otherwise, we'd be open to an unvaccinated Surrogate.

What kind of relationship do you want to have with your Surrogate during the pregnancy?

We’d like to get to know each other and have a meaningful and supportive connection. We don’t want to be nightmare Intended Parents that micromanage any aspect of the pregnancy. We want to share in the journey together and hopefully have a lot of laughs, and good times along the way. We’d love to come up with routines we share over the course of the journey, whether sharing favorite recipes with each other, new books we’ve been reading, series we’ve been watching, or other parts of our day-to-day lives.

Do you want to be in the delivery room when your child is born?

Yes, we'd like to be there in the delivery room when our child is born but are happy to discuss this with our Surrogate about the setup that they feel is most comfortable.

What kind of relationship do you hope to have with your Surrogate after the birth of your child?

After the delivery, we'd like to maintain a connection with our Surrogate, keeping her up to date on how our child grows and on major life milestones. We’d also be interested in gathering in person in the future so that our Surrogate and child can eventually meet (if that is something that our Surrogate and child are both comfortable with). We want our child to be aware and proud of how they came into the world and to know our Surrogate.

Would you be open to a home birth?

Yes. In this case, we would want to have a clear emergency plan in place and make sure that she is close enough to the nearest hospital/other emergency care.

Are you open to midwifery care?

Yes, we'd want to know about the midwife's experience and the certification process on a province by province level but we'd be open to the idea. Nick's older sister gave birth working with midwives at home, and found it to be the best experience for her, so we understand that our Surrogate should be making decisions that will make her birthing process the most comfortable.

Would you like your Surrogate to provide breastmilk?

Yes, if she’s willing to. Although having seen the societal pressure my (Nick’s) sisters felt to provide breast milk to their kids, we don’t want to sign up for that pressure and we know that kids are raised perfectly fine without breast milk so we’re happy with any and all options.

What will you tell the child about the Surrogate, and the circumstances of their birth? If your child asks to meet the Surrogate, how will you feel?

We want to be open with our child about all the wonderful people that helped bring them into the world (always building on the story in an age appropriate way, of course). Overall, we want our child to be aware and proud of how they came into the world. We would gladly have our child and our Surrogate meet as long as both are comfortable with the idea.

If the transfer is unsuccessful, will you want to try again? If so, how soon after?

We imagine that there will be an emotional impact for our Surrogate and ourselves if a transfer fails, so it’s difficult to say in advance an exact timeline for a second transfer cycle. That being said, we would want to move forward as soon as all of us are ready, and we have medical clearance.

If this surrogacy journey is successful, would you want to complete a sibling journey? What do you envision that looking like? (timeline, same Surrogate etc.)

Yes, we would love to complete a sibling journey. Our hope is to have two kids down the line. We don't want too much time to pass between our journeys. In a best case scenario, we would love to have the same Surrogate for our second surrogacy journey. However, we know that one journey itself is already an incredible gift so there’s absolutely no pressure to commit to multiple journeys at this stage.

What are your plans for childcare once the child is born?

We're saving up financially as well as banking vacation days in order to be able to take the maximum amount of time off after the birth of our child. In the first few months, we will be able to stagger our hours and days off in order to cover childcare, and our parents hope to visit for extended periods of time in order to help out as well. Looking longer term, we are lucky to live in a neighborhood of Paris with the most number of nurseries, with great early development programs and healthy food.

What does a typical weekend look like for you?

On Friday nights, we like to end the week by finding an outdoor table at a restaurant where we can watch the sunset over the city with a glass of wine in hand. On Saturdays, we like to catch up with friends, go for a run, and explore a museum or a new area of the city we haven't visited before. On Sundays, our routine is to start the day with croissants for breakfast (very French!) and visit our nearby farmers market. If the weather is bad, we like to read at home, or go to the movies.

What are some of your interests/ activities?

Daniel practices synchronized swimming, loves to travel, and listen to public radio. He also likes to continue learning new things and is passionate about architecture and urban planning. Nick likes to ferment things from kombucha to kimchi to beer. He also likes hiking, running and swimming. He likes to read and watches a lot of television. If you watch a series, he probably watches it too. We both like to be outdoors and exploring, biking and hiking.

We love baked goods. When we were living in New York together, our routine was "Bagel Fridays" and now in Paris we have "croissant Sundays". Daniel cooks great Peruvian dishes that his mom taught him to make. We love most types of food and trying new things.

We do not have pets, but we are uncles to "Gaston", our neighbors’ cat who wanders around the building and likes to stop by and visit us.

Other fun facts:

We lived four years in a 24 square meter apartment and not only did we not kill each other, we're closer than ever. <3
When we were teenagers, we learned very different styles of dance. Daniel took salsa dancing classes, and Nick's school would organize contra dancing events.
We were so happy that Paris hosted the Olympics and Paralympics this summer, and tried to go to as many events as we could. We had the most amazing time watching beach volleyball, gymnastics, and artistic swimming. We also got the chance to go swimming in the Seine!
The day we visited Victory Reproductive Care to create our embryos, we found out from the bus driver crossing the Windsor-Detroit tunnel that Beyonce was performing and managed to snag tickets last minute!

“We met at a swim competition five years ago in New York. We are both active swimmers--Daniel doing synchronized swimming and Nick doing open water swimming. At the time, Nick was based in New York and Daniel was based in Paris. When we first started dating, we were long distance but Daniel made it on the last flight out of Paris just before the borders closed during Covid, so we could lockdown together in New York. It was a big jump going from long distance to living together, but it couldn't have worked out better. In summer 2020, Nick moved with Daniel back to Paris. We've been living in Paris ever since. We've been through a lot as a couple over the course of five years, and are really excited about the prospect of starting a family in the next few years. Daniel has a god-daughter, who he is very close with, and Nick has six nieces and nephews. Spending time with them all makes us super excited to be building a family of our own.”